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We hope all of our Twitchy readers are well into your Thanksgiving celebrations today. For those of you who eat early, we hope you’ve had your fill (until it’s time for seconds, that is) and for those who are still waiting for dinner, we hope your kitchens are awash in the delicious aromas of what is soon to come. 

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And if you still need something to be thankful for today, you can give thanks that you are not one of the miserable scolds at Axios who cannot stand American traditions and celebrations. 

Just a little while ago, Twitchy gave you a roundup of some of the worst tweets from the left about Thanksgiving Day. 

But of all of those, we wanted to single out Axios because of the tantrum that outlet’s CEO Jim VandeHei threw just a couple of days ago, whining that Elon Musk has declared the death of legacy media outlets like his. And VandeHai can’t deal with that reality.

Well, here’s a tip, Jimbo. If you want your rag to not be considered dead, maybe try killing stories like these instead of publishing them THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING.

If VandeHai is wondering why almost everything coming out of Axios is considered a joke, this is why. 

The Myth of Thanksgiving

The story told to most elementary school students for decades goes like this: Starving Pilgrims who landed on present-day Plymouth Rock, Massachusetts, got needed help from friendly Wampanoag members.

  • They showed the immigrant Pilgrims, who had escaped religious persecution in England, how to fish, hunt and harvest in the harsh New England climate.
  • After a successful harvest, the Pilgrims invited the Wampanoag, including Chief Massasoit, for a feast where they held hands, prayed for thanks and ate turkey together.

Reality check: Historians believe a day of thanks did take place in Plymouth Colony in 1621, but it’s unlike the event passed down to generations of children.

  • According to the nonprofit group Partnership With Native Americans, the original feast lasted for three days and attendees ate fowl (but turkey wasn’t mentioned in the early descriptions).
  • The Wampanoag showed up for the feast out of concern over gunshots rather than from invitation. (This was their land, after all).

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LOL. They just can’t help themselves. 

We love how Axios calls Thanksgiving a ‘myth’ and then proceeds to validate that Thanksgiving did actually happen pretty much the way it has always been taught.

And how was the land ‘theirs’ when even the Wampanoag didn’t consider themselves the owners of any land? 

As we said, they are miserable scolds and they can’t stand anything that makes people happy. 

Luckily, Twitter users were around to bury Axios under an epic ratio and tell them in no uncertain terms that they were not about to ruin our Thanksgiving. 

Go away, Axios. No one is listening to you. 

The only thing stupider than Axios’ tweet was the actual article itself. 

Axios will probably write an article in December about how Santa Claus is a white supremacist colonialist. 

No, we are not joking. Just wait. They’ll do it. And if they don’t, The Washington Post probably will. 

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It is amazing that the dead media still thinks they have the power to shame us against embracing our beloved traditions and holidays. 

They most assuredly do not.

And it will still baffle VandeHai. Because he, like the rest of the legacy media, has zero self-awareness. 

This is the correct approach to take. 

It turns out that the party of ‘joy’ hates it when people are actually joyful together. 

Imagine how broken a person — or an entire media outlet — has to be to have it literally hurt them when other people are enjoying life and having fun. 

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We’d almost feel sorry for them … if they didn’t keep trying to push their misery on the rest of us. 

The last sentence from our editor PolitiBunny reads, ‘And you wonder why we hate the media.’

They will never get it. And frankly, the more they don’t get it, the more irrelevant they become, so we’re fine if they want to keep it up. 

No, we are not doing it anymore. And Caesar absolutely flattened Axios with his ratio: 8,000 to 100.

Everyone is fed up with this woke nonsense. We are done playing their games. 

We’re not inviting them anymore. 

Sorry, Aunt Mary, but we’re sure you understand. 

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Yep. One of these left-wing outlets tries this every year. They can’t even be original in their hate. 

Reject Communism. Eat turkey.

We could force them to watch it 1,000 times and they still would never get it. 

Slap them a little harder for all of us, Holly. 

You tell ’em, Elon Musk. 

What a beautiful picture. That is what most Americans are celebrating today. Love, family, and gratitude with a magnificent turkey and all the fixins. 

Meanwhile, the ‘journalists’ at Axios can enjoy their avocado toast alone with their dozens of cats and boxes of wine.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who rejects woke, Marxist ideology and is having a wonderful day today with family and friends.

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