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People who won’t return carts vs. People who park in ‘Employee of the Month’ spots when they’re not the employee

– Caleb from PA brings up a topic that gets my blood boiling: 

Joe: Hope all is well with you and yours. 

I was at the grocery store the other day and I saw someone using the “Employee of the Month” parking spot that clearly didn’t work there. That got me thinking…I know you have railed against people who don’t return their carts. 

However, I would think it’s even worse to be the person who takes a designated parking spot that is reserved for pickup, veteran parking only, expectant mothers, etc. (and that’s not even counting people who illegally park in a handicapped spot). 

Thanks for keeping us informed and entertained with AMERICA’S BEST DAILY COLUMN. God Bless you and everyone in the greatest country on Earth. 

-Caleb from PA 

PS I have a different viewpoint about Eva Longoria moving out of the US because Trump won. At least she actually followed through with that threat. Think of all of the Hollywood blowhards that threaten to leave if Hitler 2.0 (Bush, Trump, etc.) becomes President and they never actually leave.  

Kinsey: 

My parking lot ‘hate’ rankings: 

  1. People who won’t return the shorty carts to the store for the old ladies who depend on those carts. Just last week I was at the grocery with Screencaps the III and some white hair came up to me in the checkout line and demanded my shorty cart. I was literally checking out & putting the bags into the shorty. This old timer literally stood over my cart and wasn’t budging. Guess who broke first? I did. I told her to take it and I went over to the rack and got a full-size cart. She might’ve died the next night. That shorty cart might’ve made her life easier for 30 minutes. I hope she enjoyed it. 
  2. The handicap parking pass fraud crowd. You know who they are. I used to work with a lady who ran the scam on the BMV for years. Nice lady, but I wouldn’t trust her with my last quarter. 
  3. People who aren’t employees of the month parking in those reserved spots. I’m now at the age where my brain instantly starts thinking about where I can park away from idiots. Sorry, kids, we’re walking tonight. 
  4. People who refuse to pull through a parking spot when that option is available. 
  5. People who complain about those of us who back our cars/trucks into spots. Your ass can sit there for 20 seconds while I back the Camry into a spot. 

Which hotel chain has the best ‘complimentary’ breakfast?

Nightcaps editor Zach Dean is claiming that Hampton Inn has the best breakfast and that’s why Jay Leno was staying at a Hampton when he fell 60-feet down a cliff on his way to a restaurant. 

I need the Screencaps community to weigh in on the best hotel chain breakfast. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Advice for Jacob and those building tree houses for their kids

– Reagan B. pumped out this email on Tuesday: 

Looks like Jacob’s email about treehouse advice didn’t hit the content machine, but I hate to leave a fellow capper hanging, so feel free to forward to him if you wish.

This really hits home for me as some of my favorite memories of my grandaddy are from when I was 12-14ish and we built 5 levels of a treehouse over 2 summers.  We used hammers and nails and handsaws … no power tools at all.  Although it was used for countless campouts and parties, I still had more fun building it because of the time we shared together.  Fast forward 3+ decades, and I built one for my nieces, both under 10.

So the first thing you want to do is decide if you want to build it with them or for them.

Next is tree selection.  If you can find a tree with multiple trunks, then you can build between them and it offers up so many more possibilities. Before you start though, and this might be the most important thing, watch it when the wind is really blowing because whether you decide to go from trunk to trunk, tree to tree, or tree to ground, if the part of the tree you are anchoring to moves much, it will either rip your project apart or make it unsafe.

Use treated wood.  Use deck boards for the floor(s). Use timber lock/header lock fasteners to attach to the tree(s).  They have the structural integrity of an anchor bolt, but are smaller in diameter (less damage to the tree) and require no predrilling.  Do not use screws for this.  Use a driver, not a drill.  Build a slightly elevated (8-12ish) inches off the ground deck under the treehouse.  A small built in bench, with a slightly reclined back was my favorite reading spot (4th story of mine) and my nieces love theirs as well.  Remember the tree is alive and growing, so plan accordingly.  

Speaking for myself, the hard work was well worth it and I would bet your’s will be as well.  Good luck and remember it’s not work, it’s fun!

People you’re sick of seeing

– Brian in Hodgenville, KY checks in: 

Every host on the View!

Keep up the amazing job!!

Kinsey: 

Like I was telling Rick R. last week, I agree, but those broads are great for my paycheck and that means I have a very small soft spot in my heart for what they’ve provided my family. 

– Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston liked this topic: 

Damn y’all are tough on the cracker football players on TV.  I enjoy the Mannings, Kelces & Watts!  I think most but not all of the Manningcast is great.  I change it to Joe & Troy when they do a quarter with rando non-football actors – those segments ain’t for me – but I enjoy the first half with Belichick and I liked the 4th quarter last night with JJ.  

I watch so much football on Saturdays & Sundays that by Monday the non-traditional broadcast is a nice change of pace.  

And what’s wrong with the Kelces?  OK OK I know one promotes the jab and is knockin boots with the pretty lady that while being maybe the most famous entertainer in the world is also a Kamala endorser, but I don’t care about celeb political endorsements.  Jason & Travis aren’t afraid to do silly shit that makes it easy to snicker at them.  And what’s wrong with the Watts?  Y’all are a buncha grumpy old men.  Lighten up Francis’!  

I’ll tell you who I am tired of… Ryan Clark.  Goodness gracious ESPN puts him on every NFL thing they have he doesn’t do it for me.  And he is even on NFLN now too.  Nooooooo.

Kinsey: 

Let me go over this again with the Kelces: they’ve been created by marketing agencies and then shoved down our throats as if they’re what a Middle America white guy should be. 

Travis Kelce was a Cleveland-influenced hood rat talking like a ghetto hood rat before the right agencies got their hands on him. He’s a complete fraud. Then the agencies got their hands on Jason and encouraged him to be a carnival act while brands are making it rain hundred dollar bills as if he’s an Atlanta stripper. 

The Mannings are much better at this game because they’re actually relatable Middle America white guys. 

As for Ryan Clark, I think OutKick’s track record speaks for itself in reporting on him. He was just in the 2024 Woke All-Star Challenge. He’s trash. 

Hopefully that clears up my feelings. 

– Ray B. says: 

Joe, I agree with you on sick of seeing the Kelsey brothers and I would like to add one more to the list. Pat McAfee on ESPN Game Day, I think this guy absolutely ruins the show. I used to watch every Saturday morning but not anymore. 

He is so over the top and animated it’s painful to watch. I would rather go downtown to the barbershop and watch them cut hair. Just saying.

Kinsey: 

My advice: Just wait for the McAfee kicking segment with the college kids to hit social media. I agree. I can take only so much of Pat, but if I was 28, gambled all of my paycheck & my testosterone was boiling, I’d probably watch three hours of Pat. 

Big Noon Kickoff is always an option. Mark Ingram tends to yell, but it’s a nice option to have. 

– Anonymous (properly vetted and anonymous for good reason) checks in: 

Kelce Mom! Big friggin’ deal she had two kids play in the NFL. So did Archie Manning’s wife, and many other women. Her sons don’t bother me.

Manning Bros. Their “humor” is fully lost on me, as is their popularity. May have read this on Outkick in the past, but some marketing suit on Madison Ave. must have some dumb research data that says the Mannings play in Pinckneyville. 

Snoop Dog. Don’t even know why he’s famous or a celebrity. What does he add to anything other than mangled English and bad sunglasses?

Mark Cuban. Hated this guy for years. Not sure why he gets so much run. What’s he won, one title? What an expert! Compare that to dozens of other owners who have done more, even Jerry Jones. So one title? That makes Cuban on par with Jerry Reinsdorf and Jeffrey Loria. Cool.

#NeverForget that Screencaps reader Steve B. in Grand Junction, CO wrote that screenplay

– Drew C. watched a Christmas classic last night: 

The most intimidating toy train in hobby history

– Chad in Sulphur, KY knew this would get my attention: 

Longtime reader, first time emailer. Wanted to share this Mr Goodwrench trainset my Dad handed over to me recently. He barely ever set it up, it’s probably 20+ years old and it still looks and works great. 

When I was a kid I remember having a train under the tree that ran with oil you poured down the locomotive! Anyway, my Dad is a huge fan of The Intimidator and I’m excited to see his face when they come over for Christmas. Thanks and keep up the good work!

Have you ever seen a clean KFC & the University of Illinois is still pushing tampons in the men’s restrooms

– Gerard was on the Illinois campus and shares this report: 

Has anyone eaten in a clean KFC in the last decade?  Our local KFC / Long John Silvers is always dirty.  We have tried eating at some on vacation and those are dirty as well.  KFC missed out on a lot of business through the years from our family due to their lack of cleanliness.   They should be on your list of fast food chains closing in 10 years.  Chick Fil A and Rasing Canes need to start cooking bone in Chicken and put them out of their misery.  

The attached picture was taken this Saturday in the MENS bathroom in the Union at the University of Illinois.  I took my wife and youngest down to the Michigan State game and showed them around campus.  Couldn’t believe when I saw this in the Men’s bathroom.  Not too sad that none of my children are attending the college I went to after seeing this. 

Shouldn’t be surprised after the Wokes cancelled Chief Illiniwek almost 20 years ago. 

Weren’t we just talking about airport parking lots a couple of months ago?

Screencaps cops (actual cops) were just telling me about this being a big problem within the organized crime industry. I’ll stand by my statement that there must be a thriller movie made in the next few years revolving around a car left in an airport parking lot. 

I’m thinking a dead body thriller. Or drugs. I can see Denzel Washington as a lead. Parking lot shootouts. Bricks of drugs. Bags of cash. 

I’ll have to see if Steve B. has a screenplay in his head. 

Rapid Responses in Bullet Form®

– Randy in Chiraq has thoughts: 

I haven’t opined in a while but thought I would share a few thoughts on some topics:

  • On buying a house: The only advice I can give is don’t do it while the Mrs. is expected to give birth to your firstborn son. Trying to make sense of why your mortgage went up nearly a full point AFTER the fed dropped rates, on a max two hours of sleep because your two day old uncorked a deuce so loud it sounded like someone banged on the wall is hard to wrap your mind around. The good news about all this however is we will be ex-Chicago/IL residents (going to red Indiana) in the nearest of futures and I have an entire winter to tackle how I will manage over 1.5 acres of property on a golf course so the grass must be pristine, with 20+ oak trees that shed like a husky in summer, moles and the proper mower to make the TNML proud; TNML advice welcomed!
  • On collections: I too am not a ‘collector’ per se, but I do have a stack of major happenings of the Chicago Tribune dating back to the Jordan era championships to now big daddy Trump being shot and annoying the lib libs by retaking (reclaiming?) the White House
  • On woke sports: Clay’s article was a great read this morning
  • On the kids on grass debate: Let kids run on my lawn, just don’t let your oversized dog pee on it and leave dead spots, that’s for your lawn
  • On Dan Campbell: as a Bears fan, Dan Campbell makes me want to run through a wall. Sadly Lions games are becoming must watch TV
  • On the Bengals: R.I.P.

Keep up the great work!

If you aren’t rooting for Army football this weekend, get out of this country like Eva Longoria

Saturday night. 7 p.m. ET. NBC. The good guys vs. Notre Dame from Yankee Stadium like it’s 1934 with everything on the line for America’s greatest warriors. 

– Matt B. has a son at West Point: 

Love the Army shoutout today! America’s team!!!  The dilemma we have is our cadet’s younger brother wants the jersey to wear to the Army-Navy game. Mind you that he has last year’s jersey already that he could wear. If he waits until after the game the $125 jersey will probably drop to around $50 like it did last year. I mean it is pretty fire though, I’ve got to admit. Might have to break down and override my “delayed gratification” advice. What would you do, Joe?

Kinsey: 

I’m buying that jersey!  As these emailers keep telling me, it’ll be over before you know it. Plus, if they’re undefeated, you’ll be riding a high and the cost won’t even phase you. 

– Matt B. wrote back: 

Yeah, you’re spot on. No way I’m not buying that jersey! I’m fired up now. Go Army, Beat Navy!

Trash can turkey

– Jacob B. shares: 

With Thanksgiving upon us I wanted to pass along a new turkey cooking method. 16 lb bird with a 16 lb of charcoal and cooked it for 1:45. Injected with Tony’s Cajun butter and it was Perfect.

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Now that’s a loaded editiion of Screencaps. There are at least 10 items in here that should cause you to pick up that phone and send an email. Let it fly. Tell me how you’d take a bullet for the Kelces. Tell me your favorite hotel chain breakfast. 

Get active. Share. Tell me about life. Compliment me. I’ve received a few of those emails this week. 

And then go have a great day of work. Stay safe. Hit ’em straight and enjoy another day of life. 

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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