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Gladiator II hits theaters on Friday, and while the film will almost surely not live up to the original – and be full of woke garbage – I think we can take some solace in the promotional advertising being amazing: particularly this tie-in from AirBnB.

To celebrate the release of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator II, sixteen lucky AirBnB users will be outfitted like gladiators and experience gladiatorial combat in the Colosseum.

Here’s the description:

Hail! So, you wish to step into the role of a gladiator? This path is not for the faint of heart. However, if you believe you possess the courage, let us open the gates of Rome’s legendary Colosseum to test the limits of your strength and honor. There, under the dark of night, we will determine who was born for victory and who for defeat. Will you answer the call of destiny in the world’s most famous battleground or languish in cowardice?

Honestly, they should have got whoever wrote this AirBnB copy to write the movie. The experience sounds amazing!

Descend into the hypogeum, the underground chambers where gladiators prepare for battle. There, you will don armor that most closely reflects your gladiator type, whether that be murmillo, thraex, provocator, retiarius, or contrarete. Choose wisely.

Just a note: the retiarius is that effeminate guy with the net and trident who fights from a distance and by running away. The Romans hated those gladiators despite our modern movie makers trying to make them more appealing. Emperor Claudius often had the losing retiarii slowly tortured to death at the end of the games so the Romans could enjoy their agony.

So skip that one.

All the other options have a sword and shield of some sort and fight in direct combat. The contrarete is the retiarius hunter. That one was always a huge crowd pleaser.

One last note: This isn’t your typical AirBnB experience. It doesn’t include lodging of any sort.

The Colosseum is a place of combat, not of rest. By decree of the Emperor, no guest shall stay the night.

Here’s a little promo video for the games:

Some Romans are not too happy about the games, and a few are actually trying to get it shut down.

But it’s clear what these angry Romans need: Some bread and circus.

Bring on the games!

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