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If you’ve ever wanted to rent out the Coliseum in Rome with up to 16 of your closest pals (we all know you don’t have 16 friends, but let’s pretend) so you can play gladiator, this can be arranged, but it’s not nearly as cool as it sounds.

According to Variety, to celebrate Gladiator II: Electric Boogaloo (fine; that’s not the subtitle), Paramount Pictures has partnered with Airbnb to put the ancient site of fights to the death, lion maulings, and naval battles for rent on their platform.

And they’re doing it all for the low, low cost of $0 per person.

However there are some catches and one of those is that there are only two dates available, May 7, 2025, and May 8, 2025. Each night offers a three-hour experience.

Yeah, they don’t even let you stay overnight, which is kind of lame. If I’m going to rent out the entire Coliseum for a night, I want to be able to crash there.

These experiences involve you throwing on armor and pretending to fight your friends. (Pro Tip: get a job at Medieval Times and they’ll pay you to do this).

So, let’s get this straight: you can rent a three-hour cosplay session at the Coliseum.

Cool? 

Not when you have to pay your own way to Rome it isn’t.

This can all be yours… for three-hours and only to play dress up. (Photo by Cheng Tingting/Xinhua via Getty Images)

This would be so much cooler if you were actually renting the Coliseum for a night. Like, I don’t need to play dress up. Just toss me the keys and I’ll sit in the stands all night drinking wine, crushing pizza, and watching playoff hockey on my phone. Every once in a while I’d look up and say to myself, “Pretty cool that I’m doing this in the Coliseum — the Roman one — instead of at home where I normally do it.”

Now, that’s a night.

I will say, however, that I like the idea of renting out ancient buildings. The Pyramids at Giza are just sitting out in the desert collecting dust and have been for several millennia. Why not rent them out so people can have parties there or pretend to be Brendon Fraser and reenact scenes from The Mummy?

I can’t think of a reason, so let’s make it happen.