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Donald Trump has chosen South Dakota’s smokeshow of a Governor Kristi Noem to head up Homeland Security. Or, he is rumored to be about to choose her. I’ll be honest: the media coverage is starting to confuse me. I’m still not sure if Marco Rubio is secretary of state or not. But, as far as X-Twitter trends go, it’s Noem to DHS. That’s good enough for me.

Noem was rumored to be on the VP shortlist, but then that whole “killing a dog” thing happened. It will no doubt come up during her confirmation hearing from a Democrat senator looking for TV time—my guess is Cory Booker. Hopefully, it gets countered with a mention of the time she went all ham on a bunch of Amazon boxes with a flamethrower.

The best part is that it was a gift from her staff. I’d love to have heard THAT brainstorming session.

Staffer #1: Let’s get her one of those giant blankets.

Staffer #2: Let’s get her a gift card to Applebee’s.

Staffer #C: Let’s get her a flamethrower.

Staffers #1 and #2: …wait, can we do that?

Sure, adept use of a flamethrower doesn’t mean much as the Chairwoman of Homeland Security, at least, not in the literal sense. So here she is combating the media on the Biden Border Crisis since the main requirement of ANY Trump nominee is being able to handle the journalisming industry.

She is also what is known as a Border Hawk when it comes to the copious amount of illegal immigrants allowed to invade the country during the Harris-Biden adminstration: “South Dakota won’t be taking any illegal immigrants that the Biden Administration wants to relocate. My message to illegal immigrants… call me when you’re an American.”

I’m digging the Team that Trump is putting together so far. I’m curious to see what the economic team looks like.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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