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While Kamala Harris is asking for the number of the truck that hit her, Donald Trump should put that trash truck in gear. And don’t tell me he’s not inaugurated, so he doesn’t have any power. Not so fast! What would this not-so-humble pundit suggest that he do promptly?

First, even though he is not yet behind the Resolute Desk, he can start the ball rolling by demanding that all federal employees preserve all their emails and other records. That can be accompanied by a reminder that he’s only telling them to do what the Federal Records Act already requires. This includes all communications between federal employees and media companies of any description. Failure to do so will be regarded as obstruction of justice. The use of encrypted apps to communicate will also be regarded as obstruction.

Next, he should announce that because the Supreme Court rejected racial preferences in the Harvard case (“Eliminating racial discrimination means eliminating all of it.”) such preferences are not legal anywhere in the federal government. Any federal employees in DEI (Didn’t Earn It) jobs who wish to resign on January 20 will be paid through the end of the fiscal year. Of course, any other federal employees who wish to resign on January 20 will get the same deal. Ditto for LGBTQIA alphabet soup instructors.

Image by AI.

By the way, we will use pronouns according to your sex at birth. And just in case you can’t define a woman, it’s a person with two X chromosomes and inside plumbing. A man has XY chromosomes and outside plumbing (h.t. Mom). Now that we’ve made a couple of things clear for those in Rio Linda, let’s finish that subject by noting that Title IX funds are for programs with biological women, not trans-whatevers. Girls’ bathrooms and locker rooms are for girls.

Continuing with education, any educational institution that continues with DEI programs will lose all eligibility for FISL or Pell Grant money. Research grants will go away as well. In the military, all officers who promoted or worked in DEI-type programs will be cashiered. The military must be staffed with warfighters, not wimps.

His next step should be to announce that any non-citizens who participated in protests that included property damage or personal injuries will have their visa/green card/etc. canceled. They know who they are and would be better off if they removed themselves from the country before January 20. If not, they can expect the same detention as the current J6 political prisoners. They have been admitted to our country as guests. Misbehavior makes them scofflaw schlemiels, who are just as welcome as a party guest who deliberately spills red wine on the hostess’ white dress.

Continuing in this vein, college-coddled aliens who participated in any protests whatever have made themselves into fetid foreigners. They are here because we graciously extended a privilege, and they are not entitled to any favors when they misbehave.

As you can tell, the list of possible announcements is long and distinguished. Please do not complain if I missed your favorite. We’ll have more time later.

Now, we can make things a bit more fun. Any illegal alien who turns himself in will go to the back of the deportation line. It may take a few days to ramp up the photo ID, fingerprinting, and so on at Post Offices, but the program should start as soon as it becomes possible. Because there are fewer than 34,000 post offices, perhaps some of those departing DEI lowlifes can be put to work managing the registration kiosks. Of course, if a bodega or three chose to volunteer for the job, they could be paid for every confirmed registration.

On the government side, we could shift some of those extraneous IRS employees Biden/Harris paid for into doing live verification of each record. That way, the kiosk can print out a laminated ID card for each registered alien. And by the way, the feds won’t be paying for you to stay here. That’s up to you to figure out. In the meantime, we’ll be detaining any illegals who commit crimes of any description. Misdemeanors get deported, while felonies will be a bit more entertaining. We should be able to find a closed, remote northern facility to house them and make them “productive.”

Next on the chopping block should be NGOs. Simply announce that every “Non-Governmental Organization” is not properly part of the government and will be cut off from the taxpayer’s wallet. I don’t care what good or evil they do. They don’t belong on the government bread line. Good ones will get plenty of money from private donations.

This list would not be complete without key shout-outs to Congress. Getting elected should not be a feather bed. People like Chuck Schumer, Mitch McConnell, and other federal fungi should not exist. But unlike the presidency, these positions do not have term limits. My home state of Florida is flourishing under term limits. We seem to get tax cuts and bigger surpluses every year, with hundreds of thousands of people U-Hauling their cats and squirrels south every year. The same medicine should be good for Congress.

Why should AOC be a multimillionaire after a handful of terms in Congress? She makes less than $200k per year and was broke when she arrived. Rinse and repeat for dozens of others. The answer is simple: term limits. But Congress won’t exercise its Article V option to propose a term limits Amendment because that would cut off its gravy train. So, it’s time to bypass the roadblock at Mordor on the Potomac.

Article V allows states to call a convention to propose amendments. VP-Elect Vance has already announced his support for one. Right now, the number of states calling for one seems to be nineteen, with thirty-four needed. If Donald Trump were to announce his support for such a convention, it’s likely we’d get enough in no time. So what would we ask them to do?

The two most obvious Amendments would be Term Limits and Balanced Budget. If that’s all we got, it would be a success. Suppose members of the House and Senate were limited to twelve years in either chamber. The fossils who run the show now would be long gone. Institutionalized corruption would be very much reduced. And members would actually have to convince their constituents that they were somewhat more useful than a rubber crutch. Ideally, we’d repeal the Seventeenth Amendment, returning the Senate to its original function as a body that directly represents state governments while the House directly represents the people.

Just to allay any fears about a runaway convention, consider this. No amendment proposed by the convention can become part of the Constitution until three-fourths of the states ratify it. So if a proposal comes to outlaw red-headed stepchildren, thirty-eight states have to say “Yes” before it becomes law. So that’s not happening.

I’m sure that there are lots of other good bits that might come out of a convention, but for today, let’s get our movement moving. There isn’t any need to wait for January 20.

Ted Noel is retired physician who posts on social media as Doctor Ted. His Doctor Ted’s Prescription podcast is available on multiple podcast channels.