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If you thought the unhinged takes would die down after yesterday and came here thinking we’d have nothing to make fun of … buddy, do I have some GOOD news for you:
They did NOT. In fact, I’d argue they somehow got even better today. Yesterday, the lefties were still in shock. Still trying to process everything. Shaking off the rust. Working out the kinks.
But today? They are SEEEEEEETHING. It’s been an absolute masterclass from that side, and I plan on welcoming them all to class today. Say hi!!!!
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we spin the wheel with Maggie Sajak and hope it lands on 312. Spoiler alert: it will!
What else? I’ve got Nelly Korda taking a dip, Mo(u)rning Joe finally realizing how expensive everything is, the newest TikTok trend from angry Libs in response to Donald J. Trump retaking the White House, and Mike from Marlton calling into a Penn State radio show with an all-time idea for the school’s new head coach.
Can you guess who?!
OK, that’s enough teasing. Let’s shave first, and then get down to business!
Pencils up!
What a trend from the angry Gen-Zers!
No, you animals. I wasn’t talking about sex. Get your heads outta the gutter! I was talking about the latest TikTok trend in response to Trump winning the election.
I could give you 1,000 guesses – maybe more – and you still wouldn’t get it.
These are the folks who voted for Kamala Harris, by the way. Right here.
Choose. Your. Fighter.
Incredible. Just incredible. It’s amazing the #content we’ve gotten just 48 hours after the election. Never in my wildest dreams did I think the internet was capable of such #content. But I greatly underestimated the lunacy of the Gen-Z TikTokers.
But wait, there’s more!
I can’t believe it’s not butter!
I mean, just the best. They’re the best.
“I personally am working diligently on my exit plan. Stay safe out there guys.”
Can’t wait to see how it goes. Good luck in Australia! Judging by how they handled COVID – they locked up anyone who left the house – y’all should fit right in.
Now, let’s keep this train humming with … Morning Joe! This is Joe Scarborough’s second straight day in class – his head must be SPINNING – and this one is an all-timer.
Yesterday, he chimed in by calling all the Hispanics a bunch of racists for not voting for Kamala Harris. He somehow topped that this morning when he realized the cost of butter:
Nelly Korda takes a swim
Welcome to reality, Joe! Good to have you. I know you spend your summers in Nantucket and haven’t been to an actual grocery store in years, but yep – it’s THAT bad.
It’s amazing that these people sit here and spew nonsense to the American public for months and months leading up to a presidential election, and then suddenly – TWO DAYS AFTER – realize the real core problems in this country.
Yesterday, Joe admitted that boys shouldn’t be playing girls’ sports. Today, he realized how bad it is at the Publix (nothing against Publix, of course). Gee, maybe the Hispanics aren’t racist after all. Maybe they’re just sick of paying $10 for a stick of butter.
Better late than never, I reckon.
Next? Enough of the politics! Let’s check in with the No. 1 LPGA player in the world, Nelly Korda!
Gruden, TNF, Penn State and Tim Walz
Now we’re talking! Now, America is finally healing. We’re back. Let’s finish the week strong, folks.
And hey! We get football tonight. Thank God. Feels like a month since Monday night, doesn’t it? I haven’t fired up the Hard Rock app in days.
Diontae Johnson OVER 17.5 yards tonight. You are welcome! Let’s get rich.
Rapid-fire time before kickoff. First up? Can’t believe I missed Gruden’s latest BANGER on TikTok from a few days ago:
Our guy!!! I can promise you I know who Gruden voted for Tuesday. He’s feeling nicey today, just like the rest of us! Let’s get his ass back on the sidelines, STAT. Please. I’m begging someone. Take a chance. Give us the #content.
Next? Speaking of coaching changes …
Hilarious. And the best part was their reaction. I mean, my God. This sounds like just the worst radio show of all time. How can you take things that seriously? You’re really upset that Mike from Marlton called in with an obvious Tim Walz joke?
Goodness. We stand with Mike from Marlton! Make America Funny Again!
Or, you know, stay completely unhinged:
Take us home, Maggie Sajak
The party of inclusivity. Don’t you forget it, folks. Today ALONE they’ve shaved their heads, started mapping out exit plans, and gotten kicked off a plane – all because Donald Trump is back in office.
Incredible. And they wonder why.
OK, that’s it for today. A short class, but an informative one. And that’s all you can for on a Thursday.
Take us home, Maggie.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
How much did you spend on groceries this week? Be honest. Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.