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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the clown-world Super Bowl, where we learn if we’ll have cheap gas and spaceships on Mars … or if we’ll all starve under the rule of gay commies.

In addition to our regular election coverage, we’ll be posting updates on various exit polls and results as they roll in. Expect things to get really spicy between 8 p.m. Tuesday and 2 a.m. Wednesday!

8:16 a.m. EST – Remember to have fun out there!

8:06 a.m. EST – More than 82 million Americans voted ahead of Election Day, a whopping 52% of all votes cast in 2020.

7:59 a.m. EST – The GOP chairman reports that Republican poll watchers were being turned away in multiple Pennsylvania counties (whoever wins PA will likely win the election).

7:52 a.m. EST – A tiny town with 6 voters in New Hampshire was split between Trump and Kamala in an early-morning vote, a deviation from 2016 and 2020, when the Democrat candidate was clearly favored.

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