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It’s crunch time, boys and girls. The election is in four days, which means we’ll know who our next president will be around Christmas. 

Kidding. Sort of. 

Anyway, it’s all hands on deck right now for Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. The polls are close (shocker!). We have a real toss-up on our hands (shocker, again!). It’s anyone’s ballgame as we near the two-minute warning. 

So, naturally, the Harris team sent Hillary Clinton to … FLORIDA … this afternoon on her behalf. And, shockingly, nobody showed up. 

It’s almost like Florida ain’t the swing state it used to be. Weird. 

The energy in Florida for Kamala Harris is off the charts!

Hilarious. I mean, what are we doing here? I’m not one to give Kamala Harris advice, but I can promise you, Hillary Clinton ain’t moving the needle in Florida. 

We’re a red state now. It’s over. Been red for a while now. Probably not going back any time soon. We’re so red, even Miami-Dade has gone red. I think there are, like, two “blue” areas of my state left. That’s it. 

The rest? The rest is Trump and DeSantis country. I promise you. I AM the boots on the ground here. Trust me. It’s over. 

But hey, please – I’m begging you – keep throwing resources into Florida. Do it! We want all the smoke. Forget Michigan and Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. Those states are in the bag! Keep focusing on Florida and keep sending … Hillary Clinton !!! … to Florida. 

How in the hell is Trump supposed to compete with this? Seriously:

We are COOOOKED. This is Kamala country. Florida has gone blue. Sad. 

Oh well. Maybe we’ll get ’em again in 2028.