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In late September, the Harris campaign granted one of its relatively few interviews to a friendly source – Jen Psaki, President Biden’s former spokesperson, now with MSNBC. The guest: Doug Emhoff, the second gentleman.
The most interesting aspect of the interview was the lead-in to one of Psaki’s questions – when she told Emhoff that he has “reshaped the perception of masculinity.” She did not specify how he has done this.
Perhaps it was him identifying himself on social media as “an advocate for justice and equality” – combined with having voiced support in the interview for “pay equity, child care, family leave and all of these issues.” Perhaps it was also tied to her description of him as a “wife guy” – a term that describes a man whose standing derives from that of his wife.
Second gentleman Doug Emhoff listens as Vice President Kamala Harris speaks to the press at Buffalo Niagara-International Airport, on May 28, 2022, in New York. (Kent Nishimura/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images)
The well-known fact that Emhoff cheated on his first wife with their child’s elementary school teacher and nanny does not seem to have factored into Psaki’s regard for his masculinity. Nor does a 2019 lawsuit, which accused Emhoff of leading a sexually charged work environment that was hostile to women. The accusation that Emhoff, in 2012, powerfully and publicly slapped a girlfriend in a fit of jealously would not have factored in – as it came out after the interview.
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Emhoff, when asked about this on “Morning Joe,” did not say that as a man he would never and could never strike a woman. He just said that he “does not have time to get p—ed off.” In any case, the accusation and his response has not prompted a reconsideration by Psaki.
Psaki deserves credit for one thing: Having raised the question – What is masculinity? As always, there is a source of truth to consult: the Torah.
The Torah calls one person an “ish” – a man (as distinct from an adult male) – more than anyone else. This is Moses.
The first act we see Moses perform is in Exodus 2:12. He witnesses an injustice – an Egyptian slavemaster beating a Jewish slave. No one intervenes. The text tells us: “He looked this way and that way and saw there was no man.” Moses becomes that man, and kills the Egyptian.
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Shortly thereafter Moses (like Emhoff) is called a “man” by a woman – albeit not on MSNBC, but in Exodus 2:19. Seven young sisters come to draw water, where they are harassed by shepherds. Moses, the text tells us, single-handedly “saved” the women. He is not done. He also “watered their sheep.”
A man, the Bible is telling us, has physical strength and the courage to use it nobly. He also has a caring tenderness that propels him to not only make life safe for women – but to make it good.
Moses is the protagonist in the Torah story that follows – and so we learn quite a bit about him. Why else, from what we learn subsequently, might Moses (like Emhoff) have “reshaped the perception of masculinity”?
A few things come to mind:
Strong, Silent Type. In Exodus 2, we learn Moses is strong. In Exodus 4, Moses tells God, “I am not a man of words.” His rhetorical abilities will develop, but he remains distinguished as a man of action.
Appreciation for Strong Women. How does Moses survive the Pharaoh’s decree that all Jewish baby boys be killed? His mother constructs a boat, puts him in it, and sails him down the Nile. His sister tracks the boat. The Pharaoh’s daughter decides to save the baby and adopt him. His sister arranges with the Pharaoh’s daughter to have the baby cared for by his mother until he is ready for the adoption.
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The commonality is summarized in the Talmudic conclusion: “In the merit of righteous women, the Jews were redeemed from Egypt.” Moses again experiences the strength of a woman when he, inexplicably, fails to circumcise his first son. His wife, Zipporah, rises to the occasion and saves the family from Divine wrath. Moses’s lifelong best friend and confidant will be his sister, Miriam.
Humility. In Numbers 12:3, the Torah says: “Moses was exceedingly humble, more than any person on the face of the earth.”
Internal Criticism, External Defense. Moses often criticizes his people in an effort to prepare them to be a free people in the Promised Land. But when God, after the sin of the Golden Calf, threatens to destroy the people and start over with Moses – our ish responds. He says: “Then blot me out of your Torah.” A man, Moses shows, will be the smartest, strongest and most courageous defender of his people to outsiders – even as he works incessantly to improve them.
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Responsibility. In Numbers 16, the worst rebellion against Moses’ leadership happens. It is led by Korach, and joined by Datan, Abiram and many others. God is so furious that he tells Moses and his brother Aaron to “separate” so that he can destroy everyone but them. Moses pleads for the people saying, “Shall one man sin, and you be angry with the entire assembly?” Who could the “one man” be? It cannot be Korach, as he is joined by others. The “one man” must be Moses – who is blaming himself for creating the conditions where such a rebellion could occur.
Kudos to Jen Psaki for so clearly presenting what is clearly a “reshaped perception of masculinity,” and for giving us all an opportunity to decide which model – Moses or Doug Emhoff – is the ideal.
