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Some people have noticed the peculiar formatting Dr. Jordan Peterson began using when posting on X (formerly Twitter), but little have they realized that they are witnessing the emergence of the great haiku poet of modern times.

The Babylon Bee has obtained a sneak peek at some of Dr. Peterson’s upcoming tweets:

Rebuking Gender Surgeons

Some doctor you are
An evil bloody creature
Harming young children

Ode to Lobsters

Lobsters, lobsters in
My dreams and in my visions
Claws, all the way down

Black Tie Prison

The tux of patterns
Straight-backed men wear proud, dashing
Straight to the gulag

Mario, My Brother

Little plumber man
Jumps to get the shiny coins
Always out of reach

Lunchtime

Mustard on hotdog
No relish, onion, ketchup
Only need a bun

Not My Star Wars

Last Jedi blew it
Luke Skywalker died so weak
Up yours, Lucasfilm

Where’s Ellen?

Dear Elliot Page
You know that’s not your real name
Chopped off your best parts

Just a Boy

Filth, trash everywhere
Discarded McDonald’s bags
Clean your room, bucko

Cover Model

Bikini fat chick
I’m sorry, not beautiful
Skinny broads for me

Truly the social media posts of a man who wrestles with God. Read them and nod accordingly, even if you don’t know what they mean.

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