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There’s a scene from the original 1982 Creepshow I’ve always remembered, with a line we’ve used ever since. It’s a Stephen King short story, The Lonesome Death Of Jordy Verrill, and actually starred the author as the doomed backwoods, bad-luck farmer who runs afoul of a meteorite crashing down near his cabin.

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Fantasizing about the riches the meteorite could bring him while ignoring the already ominous things happening to the area surrounding the rock itself, Jordy reaches for it, touches it, and immediately knows he’s made a terrible mistake.

Aw, Jordy, you lunkhead!”

It only takes 24 hours for the fuzzy green plant life to spread as Jordy continues doing everything wrong – encouraging the alien growth rather than eradicating it. 

It eventually consumes him.

Had the lunkhead not touched the shiny rock…but he couldn’t resist the temptation.

I see parallels between Jordy’s sad, self-inflicted ending and the repeated, convulsive attacks CBS News launches nightly against Donald Trump. There is not the remotest shred of unbiased or grudgingly positive reporting in any of them. Both barrels are blazing from the first music cue introducing Norah O’Donnell’s hyperbolic headline litany.

The progressive, TDS-infected lunkheads at the network could not resist embracing the shiny, joyful rock the Democrats trotted out in place of the old, decrepit grifter. And the unholy quest to destroy her competition is consuming them. 

The night before last, O’Donnell led with that already thoroughly debunked and disgraced (well before broadcast time) Jeffrey Goldberg Atlantic smear piece.

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“...After that campaign stop, a new report, that Trump used the ‘F’ word to describe a murdered Mexican-American soldier. That story is that Trump scoffed at the price of a funeral Trump had offered to pay for the funeral of Private Vanessa Guillen, something the Trump team denies…”

At the very end of the report, after first ensuring they’d read all the juicy, inflammatory language and accusations from the Goldberg hit piece aloud, they do take a moment to note the sister of the dead soldier “has said her sister’s death is being exploited for politics” and “several of the former president’s White House aides said The Atlantic’s article is absolutely false.”

Then, boom. Right into reports on Obama and Harris campaigning, with nary a negative to be found.

Gosh. What a balanced presentation.

Last night built on that approach.

You thought Trump only hated effin’ dead Mexicans?

Hah! Think again, peasant!

The TDS-damaged lunkheads at CBS ‘News’ are here to warn the public about what he’s really got planned.

O’Donnell opens with a bang, tell you what.

Tonight, Donald Trump’s longest-serving chief of staff says, if re-elected, the former president would rule LIKE A DICTATOR.

[Harris clip] “This is a window into who Donald Trump REALLY IS.”

So there’s already one Harris clip smacking at Trump during the opening credits. Then O’Donnell lays into him introducing the first story, which goes about how you’d expect.

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…this was how anchor Norah O’Donnell went about kicking off tonight’s show: 

“Less than two weeks to go to Election Day and Vice President Kamala Harris is calling Donald Trump increasingly unhinged and unstable. That comes after the former President’s own former chief of staff John Kelly said on the record and on tape that Trump repeatedly praised Nazi dictator, Adolf Hitler. He also said his former boss was the definition of a fascist. Kelly is a retired four-star Marine general who also served as Trump secretary of Homeland Security. Vice President Harris warned today that if Trump is elected again, people like General Kelly will not be there to serve as guardrails and keep him in check. The Trump campaign vehemently denies Kelly’s remarks, but this is all playing out with voting already underway. More than 24 million Americans have already cast ballots, either in person or by mail.”

There are two more “Vice President Harris warns” freebies – we’re up to three in a report that is only a shade over a minute long, with a now clearly defined theme. 

HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER *breathe* HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER

“And we want to turn now to the Harris campaign and its door-to-door…”

It’s all benignly Harris and black get-out-the-vote efforts in Philly – door-knocking and phone banking.

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IF EVERY VOTER IN PHILLY VOTED (ONE WAY OR THE OTHER), THE REST OF THE STATE WOULDN’T MATTER

Oh. That’s not a prod to black voters to do their duty to the donkey at all.

And then, at 3:58 into the piece, terminal TDS sufferer Major Garrett has his chance to opine and point out that, yes, the world has heard Trump is dangerous before, but DON’T FORGET THE WARNINGS BEFORE JANUARY  6!!

HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER *breathe* HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER

Garrett speaks not a single word – not a single word – about the Harris campaign, period, other than to say their focus groups have led them to believe J-6 and these Hitler/dictator allegations work on persuadable voters.

How odd then that that’s ALL that CBS ‘News’ has seen fit to breathlessly report ABOUT the Trump campaign. Negative slanted reports are the only thing CBS ‘News’ has featured in any Trump segment – the more lurid, the better.

That is the sum total of their entire Trump campaign coverage. 

HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER *breathe* HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER

O’Donnell is already on her way out for being an unlikeable harpy with an overweening diva complex and good riddance to rotten rubbish.

But it’s as if the once-respected news side of the corporation is in the last throws of some terminal, psychotic delirium they cannot rid themselves of. 

For whatever reason, the progressive, ethicless, frustrated elites running the network stab themselves purposefully and repeatedly in the eye while pulling the walls down around them, raging at the pain they’ve caused themselves.

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No longer can CBS and mainstream media easily manipulate minds for all their machinations and twisting or outright disregard of the truth in pursuit of their agenda. 

Yet the only answer they have is to double down on dishing more dirt.

TDS can be an all-consuming madness for liberal lunkheads when they’re convinced they’re too bright and so much better than anyone else to have to keep their finger from touching the shiny rock.

CBS is being eaten alive by the TDS monster within. 

And, with their imperial mainstream media immunity card maxed out, no one is coming to save them.

Oh, HAY-YULL, no.

It’s safer and more fun to watch the flames from out here.