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Good news, comrades! This year the Ministry of Toothbrushes will not only meet its production quota, but exceed it! And what’s more, the technocrats have devised the one and only toothbrush that you will ever need (or be allowed to purchase)! . . . But some are questioning whether government is needed to produce toothbrushes at all. Let’s nip that heresy in the bud, shall we? . . .

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