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Regrets, Jerry Seinfeld has a few.

No, he isn’t apologizing for skewering pro-Palestinian protesters at his comedy appearances earlier this year.

‘Maybe this election, maybe you don’t have a candidate that you love, but you have to have an issue that you, maybe the somebody you love is you.’

He’d do that again in a heartbeat.

He wants to take back his thoughts on the “extreme left” crushing comedy.

Et tu, Jerry?

In an interview published in Variety yesterday, the “Seinfeld” alum mused:

Does culture change and are there things that I used to say that [I can’t because] people are always moving [the gate]? Yes, but that’s the biggest and easiest target. You can’t say certain words about groups. So what? The accuracy of your observation has to be 100 times finer than that just to be a comedian. … So I don’t think, as I said, the “extreme left” has done anything to inhibit the art of comedy.

Did Seinfeld catch holy heck in the comedy community for that initial opinion? The backpedal here is Tim Walz-weird, Jerry!

And he was right the first time, of course.

‘Joker’s’ home invasion

The movie that scared Warner Bros. executives silly is coming home for Halloween.

“Joker: Folie a Deux,” which may lose the studio up to $200 million, will be out on VOD Oct. 29. It opened Oct. 4, crashed at the box office, and then plummeted an astonishing 80% in week two.

Who could have predicted a film that ditched everything that made the first “Joker” click and added musical numbers might disappoint at the box office?

The film feels like an elaborate trick from director Todd Phillips. Guess he loved that ”Joker burns money” meme so much he brought it to life.

Hathaway’s hash

Word salad. It’s catchy and delicious!

Consider Oscar winner Anne Hathaway. She dropped in on a Broadway fundraiser for Vice President Kamala Harris earlier this week. The “Les Miserables” star assumed the best way to honor the presidential candidate was to talk just like Harris.

“We got a big choice to make, America, you have to make a choice, you do have to vote. Maybe this election, maybe you don’t have a candidate that you love, but you have to have an issue that you, maybe the somebody you love is you. You gotta vote for yourself, America,” she said.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, no?

No ha-has from Harris hacks

We knew late-night hosts have no shame, but this is getting absurd.

Both Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert shifted from partisan hacks to literal cogs in the DNC machine earlier this year. They hosted Democratic fundraisers for President Joe Biden before the not-so-active senior’s cognitive decline made its national debut June 27 at the presidential debate.

The comedians covered up that open secret for three-plus years. And happily so!

Now they’re pouncing and seizing on a generic medical report from Harris that says she’s in excellent health.

“This weekend, Harris released her latest medical report, which states that she’s ‘in excellent health.’ It’s great that just the words ‘excellent health’ kinda feel like a dig at Donald Trump. They should follow that up with ‘can walk up stairs’ and ‘is potty trained.’”

Satire needs a kernel of truth to be funny. Break out a magnifying glass, and you still won’t find anything funny there.

Sad? Yes. Funny? Not so much.

‘Saturday Night’ dies

“Saturday Night” is dying at the box office.

The film capturing the chaotic moments from “Saturday Night Live’s” first episode earned mostly positive reviews and solid box office results from its New York/L.A. debut. The film opened wider over the weekend, and audiences mostly stayed away. The film earned $3.9 million on 2,300 screens.

Maybe we don’t want to be reminded of a time when SNL delivered smart, irreverent comedy without an agenda. For longtime fans, that’s a jagged little pill to swallow.

At any rate, “Saturday Night” is notable for at least one reason. After decades of box-office flops based on SNL characters, this is the first bomb based on the show itself.