Hey McDonalds, How About You Do Humanity A Solid And Revive The French Fry Radio?

This week while I was preparing for Hurricane Milton to make its way across the Florida peninsula, it occurred to me that I was missing something.

“Ah, crap,” I said. “We don’t have a radio. How will we be able to get updates on weather conditions or listen to the comedic stylings of morning zoo radio shows with names like ‘The Morning Madhouse’ or ‘Cruddy And The Gooch’?”

I made sure to take note of that for the next storm, but in the meantime, I was made aware that the perfect radio does indeed exist, and it was manufactured by, of all companies, McDonald’s.

Let’s take a trip back to 1988… 

Ladies and gentlemen, you’re familiar with ham radio; but now I present to you… the Fry Radio.

*The crowd oohs and aahs like they’re seeing King Kong on display*

An artist’s rendition of what life would have been like if the Fry Radio had been around before 1988. (Getty images)

Humanity Needs To See The Return Of The Fry Radio

I mean, if your two choices are a regular pedestrian radio and one that looks like an order of McD’s fries I think we’re all going for the fries right? It’s just a matter of time before hipsters track these down and start using them again.

Of course, we have a resident expert on this sort of thing, OutKick’s own Ricky Cobb. 

So I had to run it past him and get his thoughts on the biggest thing to happen to radios since the days of Guglielmo Marconi.

“I’m not sure how I missed out on the knowledge that this product exists, but now I feel like my whole life has been a lie,” Ricky said. “What could be better than pounding a box of McNuggets while listening to Phil Collins on your french fry radio? And did I just go to eBay and discover these are out there and surprisingly affordable? No comment.”

I think we’re all itching to hit eBay so we can reel in one of these beauties. 

It is nuts to me that some higher-up at McD’s came into a meeting in 1988, rolled up the sleeves of his blazer like Jerry Seinfeld doing a set at the Improv, and said, “Where does McDonald’s go after the McDLT? I’ll tell you where: we’re going to tackle the world of consumer electronics!”

Someone needs to bring back novelty electronics. For instance, nowadays, every cell phone looks the same. Just rectangular slabs of glass and metal. 

There was a time when you could get a telephone that looked like a football, a calculator that looked like a box of cigarettes, and — as we now know — a portable radio that looked like fries.

McDonald’s has been big into nostalgia lately and suckers like me fall for it. Yeah, I drove out of my way to the Golden Arches and ordered an Egg McMuffin I wasn’t hungry for it, but it came with a Hot Wheels cup; what of it?

So why not bring back these electronics?

I’ll even help them out with a fresh one just to get the ball rolling: Big Mac-shaped headphones.

You’re welcome for that. Let’s make it happen.