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WILMORE, KY — Congregants at Outpouring of Grace Church of Wilmore are reporting that God the Holy Spirit tragically failed to show up last Sunday when a worship leader only repeated the chorus five times.

According to Brett, the assistant bassist at Grace, the worship team has always been very careful to make sure to guarantee the coming of the third Person of the Trinity by repeating every chorus in every song at least 13 times, but last week’s service was a bit of an aberration.

“I feel terrible about it,” said John, lead worship pastor. “I completely kept the Holy Spirit from arriving. I’ve alwaye been so careful to sing stuff like ‘Come, Holy Spirit, come come come’ a good dozen times over and over again just for safety. Salvation was hanging in the balance, and I blew it.”

Occasional pew-sitter Jeff Rohre said that he felt “unfulfilled” by the experience: “I just hate it when the Holy Spirit doesn’t show up,” Rohre said. “Come on, worship team!”

At publishing time, the worship team of Outpouring of Grace Church had decided to make up for it by singing only the chorus for 25 straight minutes next Sunday.

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