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These days, anytime I see a Guinness World Record, it’s usually something stupid that is only a record because no one ever tried to do it before.

*cough*Most Times Bouncing A Ping Pong Ball Against A Wall Using Only Your Mouth Guy *cough*

However, every now and then you stumble across something of a Guinness Book Of World Records arm race, and that’s what I found as it relates to women’s tongue world records.

You probably were aware already, but ladies are crushing tongue world records left and right in 2024.

The record that tipped me off to this Golden Age of tongue records, was the one for “largest tongue circumference (female)” which now belongs to the pride of Italy, 37-year-old Ambra Collina.

I wasn’t even aware that a tongue could have a circumference, but that was ignorant of me to only think of tongues in two dimensions length and width.

But no, you puff that taster of yours up a little bit and that baby has a circumference. In the case of Collina, it’s an impressive conference bigger than that of a ping pong ball.

Impressive… also, kind of gross. You’re looking at 5.44 in. of record-breaking tongue.

When I saw that, I assumed that Collina simply realized she could ball up her tongue like that and decided to set a record. However, according to the UPI, she was inspired by pictures she saw of former record holder on the men’s side, Dante Barnes.

Even wilder, Collina snatched the record from Oregon’s Jenny DuVander and her 5.21-inch slab of mouth meat.

It kind of makes you wonder if another giant-tongued competitor is waiting in the wings to dethrone Collina because this is a very active world record arms race.

And it’s not just on the circumference front. There’s been some activity on the women’s side of the world’s widest tongue record (which is different than the biggest circumference, duh).

American Brittany Lacayo hit the scene in August with a 3.11-inch wide tongue that you could practically land a plane on.

What a time to be alive. 

Forget the Renaissance; you can keep your marble sculptures and your paintings on ceilings. 

Give me this tongue-record arms race for the ages!