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With any successful relationship, there is a balance struck between the people involved. A give and take that in the best of circumstances allows for a certain level of joy and happiness for everyone.

For some, this is easier said than done. Others have to put more effort into it. That’s not to say it can’t be done. A concerned father and husband wants to know if his give and take meter needs some calibration.

The man, looking for some advice, laid out his story for the experts on Reddit. He then asked if he would be the a**hole. He starts out by saying that he and his wife have a three-year-old and have decided not to have any more children.

He’s fine with using protection or other methods of avoiding pregnancy and his wife is not. She sees it as “too big of a risk and is nervous about sex.”

That has put a halt to the couple’s bedroom activities. His wife would be more comfortable resuming them if he went and had a vasectomy. Here’s where things get tricky.

He explained, “She scheduled a vasectomy consultation before we had fully decided that’s what we were going to do. So to the potential AH part, her boobs are very flat after breastfeeding. I have brought up getting a boob job before but she has just said she doesn’t want to and her boobs are fine.”

He continued, “So would IBTAH for saying I’ll only get a vasectomy if she gets a boob job. Both would help our sex life.”

The concerned father doesn’t have much support for his vasectomy for a boob job trade

Shockingly, there doesn’t seem to be a ton of support for his cause. There are a lot of “she’s being an adult, and you’re being a teenager” type of responses. People are tossing around the fact that the procedures are much different in terms of complexity and recovery time.

Those are valid points, but so is this guy’s approach. He’s not saying the procedures are the same or that one is more important than the other. He’s simply saying I’ll do something I don’t want to, now it’s your turn.

Both, as he states, will help their sex life. A perfect example of that important give and take. He’s taking this on from a big picture perspective. It’s comments like this one that are ignoring that.

It reads, “Vasectomies make you unable to have kids. Bigger boobs make no difference other than bigger boobs. Which one is more important and needed, if you don’t want any more kids?”

I think we all know what’s wrong with that statement.

Let me know what you think sean.joseph@outkick.com. Is the concerned father way out of bounds here with his big picture approach to their love life?