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Well, hope y’all have a good rest of football season. I’ll check back in around January – I’ve got a hurricane to prepare for. 

I mean, what a way to start a new week. Hurricane comes out of left field and may wash away my state entirely, while the Dolphins are officially the worst team in the league. Hell, they may be the worst team in NFL history. 

You wait all year for football season, and it’s over – just like that. I had a decent weekend gambling, at least. Lord knows I’ll need it when my house gets blown away in a few days. Sad. 

But, it’s a new week, and around here, we try like hell to start new weeks on a positive note. I’ve been a little too down-in-the-dumps lately, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna drag you fine folks down with me. So, we press forward. 

Onwards and upwards, baby. Let’s get AFTER IT. 

Welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we bring in Brittany Mahomes to help boost morale and then wash it down with a little Mrs. Goodell. That’s right. Roger’s wife is checking in today. What a time to be alive. 

What else? I’ve got a Kansas State fan with some tough decisions to make in the coming days, Tom Brady being absolutely disgusted with the pathetic Dallas Cowboys yesterday, the best of the rest from a big weekend of #content and an Iranian Cleveland Browns Twitter account that has my attention. 

How’s THAT for a positive, upbeat menu? All gas, no brakes today, boys and girls. Try to keep up. 

Grab you something tall and strong – and, perhaps, make it a Hurricane before my house blows away – and settle in for a second-to-last-Monday-of-September ‘Cap!

B-Dubs (again) & Brittany Mahomes!

Look, I’ve lived through a billion hurricanes. In fact, that’s how I initially blew my teeth out two decades ago, and the reason I’m out $3k right now. True story. I don’t have time for all the details, but it’s true. 

Anyway, this sucker brewing out in the Gulf right now seems like a humdinger. I’m in Central Florida, so – right now – I think we’re gonna be OK. Famous last words, I know, but I ain’t panicking yet. With any luck, we’ll get just enough wind from her to knock down the rest of my fence. If you know, you know. 

OK, let’s quickly check the mail before the skies get dark! 

B-Dubs Steve has a live report from a local B-Dubs on the back of our extensive conversations on B-Dubs burgers from last week:

Zach – 

I had to do it this weekend while watching college football. Every bit as good as it looks. 

Steve in Fort Worth. 

I mean, my God. Look at that thing! I’m telling you, I think a Buffalo Wild Wings burger would be my last meal request on death row. Fries could use a touch more crisp, but that’s being nitpicky. Need Steve to let us all know what beer’s in that 16-oz glass before I can give him a perfect score, but he’s close here. 

Nice work. Let’s keep this movement HOT heading into the final full week of September. 

Speaking of things that are hot even though some of you don’t believe me …

Choose your fighter, America!

Welcome back to class, Brittany! No better way to start the week than by having a card-carrying Republican in cowboy boots light up woke Atlanta like a Christmas tree. That’s #myfighter. 

Oh, you don’t like Brittany? Think she ain’t all that? Fine. Do you. Go ahead and drool over other WAGs all you want, but I’m perfectly content being Team Brittany. 

And if you disagree, there’s plenty of room on the Kelce-Swift bandwagon down the hall! He looks like he’s having a great time this year. 

Trump’s America vs. Kamala’s America. Choose wisely. The ladder leads off this week’s best from a big weekend of content portion of class:

Annoyed Tom Brady, Roger Goodell’s wife has the internet’s attention & Tiff Amber murders some more food

That last one is maybe my favorite tweet of all time. It’s just perfect. For starters, I love this John Fanta character out of Cleveland. I’d imagine ex-Nightcaps teacher Anthony Farris knows all about him, so excuse my ignorance here. 

But I’m all in. All the hell in:

And ya give up 21 unanswered, how bout those apples!?

This guy gets it. Love him to death. I feel his pain so much today. Dolphins fans are miserable. Browns fans are miserable. We all just want the season to end already and it’s … Sept. 23. 

Pit of misery, dilly dilly!

OK, rapid-fire time so I can go buy $100 worth of water bottles only to have them sit in my closet for six months because the storm inevitably misses us. 

First up? Tom Brady’s growth from Week 1 to Week 3 has been iconic:

Find CeeDee Lamb … another penalty, oh my God. 

Perfect. He’s already better than Romo. There, I said it. Low bar, but he’s already passed it. Next up? Collinsworth! Just melt every time Patrick Mahomes touches the football, and you’ll fit right in, Tom! 

Next? Speaking of Mahomes … look who was at the big game last night!

Welcome to class, Jane Skinner! Good to have you aboard. Hope you like Buffalo Wild Wings burgers! 

Finally? In what has quickly become my new favorite tradition, here’s Tiffani Amber Thiessen – AKA Kelly Kapowski – once again dominating a recipe video on social media:

Take us home … Katy Perry?

Last week, Tiffani Amber treated one of her hamburgers to a good time, and now she’s BACK with some solid seafood dip. 

Don’t know why, but I love this little niche that she’s carved out for herself. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re washed. Ever. Tiffani Amber was a heartthrob in the 90s, and she’s still dominating the internet today at the young age of 50. 

The American dream. 

OK, that’s it for today. I think Katy Perry’s a super weirdo, and I’m not sure how she’s still popular enough to do international concerts, but she stood on a Brazil balcony in her green bikini for two minutes over the weekend, and it caught my eye. 

Do with this what you wish. 

Now let’s go have a week. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You in Florida and concerned about his monster headed our way (maybe)? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.