Ohio's governor is sending state troopers and $2.5 million in aid to

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You guys, everything is fine in Springfield, Ohio. Nothing to worry about. Governor Mike DeWine is just sending state troopers and $2.5 million dollars in healthcare aid to the city because he’s a fine gentleman.

DeWine is sending the aid money because “the influx of Haitians to Springfield and Clark County has significantly impacted local primary care providers due to the increased number of patients and the need for more translation services.”

These Haitians don’t have healthcare coverage, many of them don’t have their vaccinations, and their diet consists of —

Here is an excerpt from that letter:

Governor DeWine announced today that he is dedicating $2.5 million toward expanding primary care access for everyone living in Springfield. Governor DeWine has directed the Ohio Department of Health to work with the Clark County Health Department and other healthcare providers on this effort.

To address the increase in dangerous driving in Springfield by inexperienced Haitian drivers and all others who disregard traffic laws, Governor DeWine directed the Ohio State Highway Patrol (OSHP) to support the Springfield Police Department with traffic enforcement Beginning tomorrow morning, OSHP troopers will patrol local roads with the highest crash rates and hold accountable any driver who drives erratically and risks the safety of others.

The crashes are happening all over the place. Most of the migrants, being here illegally, don’t even have insurance. People have been killed.

But Gov. DeWine doesn’t want you to believe – despite numerous locals talking about disappearing pets, a 911 call about Haitians loading wild geese into their car, and a decapitated pig head that showed up in a local park – that a group of foreigners who practice voodoo witchcraft would be killing pets to get good juju with the spirits.

IT’S NOT HAPPENING [WINK WINK]!

Here are a few other things that Governor DeWine is doing for the beleaguered city:

creating a school-based health clinic in the Springfield City School District to expand primary care access for school children and their parents throughout the community

increasing support for vaccinations and health screenings through the local health department

allocating additional funds to the Clark County Department of Job and Family Services for translation services

providing funding to Clark State College for services to teach English to Haitians.

providing driving simulators and offering driver education classes targeted to the Haitian community

working with the Springfield School District to maximize existing resources and provide ongoing support to deal with the surge of migrant student