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So the Eagles have landed in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and, according to Eagles CB Darius Slay, due to the city’s high crime rate, the players are supposed to be simply staying in their hotel rooms and not wandering about.

Bro didn’t seem happy to be playing the opener in Brazil, and here’s what he had to say on his podcast.

Man, I do not want to go to Brazil and you wanna know why? I’m gonna tell you why. They already told us not to leave the hotel, they told us we can’t do too much going out because the crime rate is crazy, you know what I’m saying. I’m like, ‘NFL why y’all wanna send us somewhere where the crime rate is this high?’ … I told my family ‘do not come down there because I’m not gonna be anywhere to be found’ … I don’t have no intentions on doing nothing, I’m gonna eat hotel food, I’m doing everything. They said … it’s gonna be pretty crazy down there, police say they’re gonna try to be the best they can possibly be.

Yeah, when your employer tells you not to leave the hotel, you know you’re in the wrong neck of the woods.

Darius Slay in his hotel room rn:

Of course, since the world we live in is full of wimps, Slay had to come out and apologize for his “xenophobia.”

Bro, how weak the men of the NFL have become!!

You don’t have to apologize, bro!

But you do have to stay in your hotel room until your boss says it’s okay to leave for warmups.

Boy, I bet they’re just having a blast down there in Brazil!

Packers v. Eagles tomorrow night at 8:15.

Be there, or be murdered on the streets of Sao Paulo.