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PRINCETON, NJ — In a historic win for diversity, equity, and inclusion, Princeton University’s religion department has just hired a professor who believes in God.

According to departmental sources, the decision represents a groundbreaking first for higher education across the nation, as nearly all major university religion departments have been staffed solely by atheists for the last century at least.

“We recognize that religion professors who believe in Christianity — or who are even theists — are majorly underrepresented in today’s universities and colleges,” said AnneMarie Luijendijk, the William H. Danforth Professor of Religion and Head of New College West at Princeton. “We at Princeton are incredibly thrilled to be able to speak truth to power and share this moment as our new professor joins us. We promise to do our best to keep his voice from being marginalized and we look forward to supporting our underrepresented minority in his scholarship.”

While the new professor, Dr. Mark Mattheson, has run into significant pushback from the student-led group honorary “Atheists For Religion,” most Princeton religion majors look forward to taking religion classes with a man who actually believes in God.

At publishing time, Princeton had scored another win for DEI by hiring an actual English professor into their English department.

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