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RFK Jr. is out of the presidential race.

But not if Michigan’s Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson has anything to say about it. It’s all fun and games until a Kennedy endorses a Republican. Why? Well, let’s pretend it’s for the reasons they listed:

”
Minor party candidates cannot withdraw, so his name will remain on the ballot,” said the senior press secretary for the Benson.

We all suspect the real reason, though. The Democrat Party (of which Benson is a member) thinks it will pull votes away from Trump in a vital swing state.

Why can we make that assumption? Well, because Jocelyn Benson tried to
remove Cornel West from the ballot in Michigan. Cornel West would most likely pull voters away from Democrats, so of course we want him off the ballot.

Good news(?): a legal challenge from
Cornel West has kept him on the ballot because, sure. Why not? It’s not like the future of our country is at stake here.

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While Michigan is a swing state by definition (it went Trump in 2016), the rest of recent elections have turned the state bluer and bluer.

After revoking Right to Work (which went into effect on January 1st, 2024), Michigan Democrats have wasted no time…ahem, fortifying…the Mitten as a blue state. Autoworker unions, truck driver unions, teacher unions…hell, even the grocery stores are unionized. If you’re a Michigander working at a union job, you better believe you’re donating to a Harris presidency, whether you want to or not.

Just to see what’s going on, let’s take a look at an autoworker who spoke for his industry at a Donald Trump rally.

Well, dag. Michigan homie spitting some truth.

But that’s not all.

If you’re a concerned citizen of Michigan who thinks any shenanigans happened during the election, you better keep your Great Lake-swimming, apple-picking, Euchre-playing mouth shut, because it’s now illegal for you to cast doubts on the election results.

If local certifiers cry foul, Jocelyn Benson promises “they will come for you.”

Don’t worry that they are pre-registering 16 and 17 year olds to vote. Don’t worry that they instituted permanent absentee voting. Don’t worry that they expanded early voting. Don’t worry that they’re adding more drop boxes. At least they require an ID to vote. Literally any ID. Including a student ID.

Blink twice if you need help, Michigan.

In all seriousness, as a recovering Michigander who fled to the much hotter pastures of Texas, WTF?

Michigan, have you forgotten what Gretchen Whitmer did to you during Covid? Sure, the winters are harsh, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a glutton for punishment. Are you honestly happy with all the weed shops peppering your state? You have so many weed stores, you don’t know what to do with them. It’s worse than California.

Michigan Fan Gif GIFs | Tenor

Even the Midwest liberals have got to realize at some point that the Democrat party they grew up with isn’t what exists now.

Just because you chant “Go Blue!” doesn’t mean you have to vote that way. You’re breaking my poor, Midwestern heart.

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Kate works in production at LwC. She is an author. When she isn’t writing…who are we kidding? She’s always writing. You can find her here on X.