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Men are famous for not sharing their feelings, so how can anyone be sure men have friends, let alone best friends?

The Babylon Bee has put together the following list of clear signs guys are best buds:

  1. Address each other with “Bro” or “Hey, Homo” as a sign of respect: More intimate than the classic casual nod.

  2. Text each other every six months or so: Far less often than they text people they don’t like.

  3. Only know the other guy’s first or last name, never both: That would just be weird. They’re best friends, they’re not married.

  4. Played golf together once seven years ago and haven’t spoken to each other since: The bond is still there just as strong as it ever was.

  5. Didn’t speak to each other for four years because of a ping pong game: That’s how you know how much it meant to them.

  6. They engage in uproarious laughter whenever the other guy gets injured: Being amused at your best friend’s pain is the mark of true friendship.

  7. Feel comfortable enough with each other to discuss the Roman Empire together: The deepest level of closeness in a male friendship.

  8. Communication consists almost entirely of relentless mockery and sports trivia: If a guy doesn’t hit you with at least one sick burn every time you see him, is he even your friend?

If you’re a guy in search of a best friend, find someone you never talk to, start unleashing sharp insults, and you’ll be buds for the rest of your lives.


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