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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The presidential race took a sobering turn this morning, as a reporter who asked Vice President Kamala Harris a question was arrested and charged with committing a hate crime.

The incident occurred during a brief campaign stop in which Harris and her running mate, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, visited a local deli that had been evacuated and repopulated with fake employees and campaign staff posing as customers. A stunned silence spread throughout the shop after a reporter from the press pool traveling with the Harris campaign asked her a question.

“Madam Vice President, can you tell us about your foreign policy?” the reporter asked with clearly vicious and evil intent. Before he was able to obtain an answer or follow up with an explanation for his heinous actions, Secret Service agents and local law enforcement officers swarmed him, wrestled him to the ground, and placed him under arrest. Thankfully, Vice President Harris was reportedly unharmed by the question.

“We were all witness to a terrible hate crime today,” a campaign spokesperson said later when addressing the media. “This is the type of America Donald Trump and J.D. Vance want to usher in, where reporters can just wantonly ask political leaders questions without any regard for the harm that could result. We can proudly state that Vice President Harris is currently recuperating from being asked a question and should make a full recovery.”

At publishing time, the reporter was being held without bail at an undisclosed location and faced hate crime charges and potential indictment for attempting to destroy democracy itself.

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