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CHINO, CA — Committed to raising his children right, local father Daniel Olorin tucked his children into bed and sat down to read The Hobbit as part of their nightly devotions.

“Okay, kids, it’s time to read The Hobbit,” Olorin told his children. “This book is very important because it leads into the most important book ever written,” he explained. “Uh, after the Bible, of course . . .”

The children, two boys and a girl, initially complained, requesting an Elephant & Piggie book instead, but Olorin set them straight. “Let’s have no more argument,” the loving father said. “I have chosen The Hobbit because it is objectively the best and I love you. It is settled.”

“But where are the pictures?” they pleaded. “This is boring!”

Olorin raised his voice only slightly. “Silence, you fools!” he said. Then, with the soothing manner of a nurturing father, he began to read, beginning a nightly tradition that would guide his children for many years to come.

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit,” Olorin began, his soothing voice lulling his children to sleep. When he saw them falling asleep he chastised them. “Wake up, you lazy halflings! A wizard approaches!”

After many evenings, the children came to appreciate the adventures of Bilbo, as well as Tolkien’s poetic prose. “What did I tell you?” their father said, laughing. “The Hobbit has more about it than you guess.” He gave his children a queer look from under his bushy eyebrows, and his children wondered if they guessed at the part of his tale that he had left out.

At publishing time, the children had reportedly begged to start Fellowship of the Ring, but Mrs. Olorin announced it was midnight and that children need more sleep than wizards.

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