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It was only a matter of time. As hard as they tried to hide Kamala Harris from the public with the help of a complicit media outside of highly scripted campaign events, it wasn’t going to last for long. Eventually, other people were going to have cameras out, and we were going to be reminded of the Cringe Queen—the one who was so unlikable that she was forced out of the presidential race the last time before any of the voting started. THAT Kamala made her return to the campaign trail in glorious fashion this weekend.

Glorious for us. Not so much for the people trying to prop her up as president.

The first mistake was attempting to make her look relatable by talking about sports. The last time this was tried, Kamala was
confused that women were allowed to make March Madness brackets and got booed out of the arena when they showed her face on the jumbotron. Over the weekend, Kamla tried coaching up a football team by telling them they could remain undefeated even after losing games.

If anyone needs to be coached up when she interacts with other humans, it’s Kamala Harris. Remember, this is the same woman who would
make her staff stage dress rehearsals so she could practice going out to dinner and pay children to hang out with her. She goes shopping just like real people do!

Like with most things involving “Dougie” — her husband who goes Spin cycling and gets smoothies with gay couples — it needs to be coordinated and scripted. Her campaign sent out a press release claiming when Trump got elected in 2016, Kamala ate her feelings through an entire bag of Doritos. So now any time the campaign is somewhere near food, she needs to get a bag. Why? Because she’s relatable AF!

Kamala Harris spoke at a Pennsylvania for Harris-Walz event. By event, I mean in front of tens of people. By spoke, I mean toss the word salad.

And a reporter was able to sneak in a question. On Friday, Kamala announced her plans for Soviet-style price controls on groceries and to make the unaffordable housing market unaffordabler. How is she going to pay for it? Easy. By not asking her how she’s going to pay for it.

Note to staff: stop letting reporters get too close.

Kamala Harris created quite the vibe over the weekend. Though the only joy is coming from right-wing bloggers.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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