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JERUSALEM — Several of the Twelve Apostles have recently come forward to register their irritation with Simon “Peter” Bar-Jonah for constantly going around yelling “DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?” every five minutes.

While a few of the Apostles admitted that “it was funny the first two or three hundred times he did it,” the others said that they were feeling a little fed-up with the whole routine by this point.

“It’s like, come on man — we all get it!” groaned James the son of Alphaeus as Peter swaggered up behind him and yelled “CAN YOU SMELL IT?” for the third time that day. “I know, I know…the Lord literally renamed you the Rock — but could you please at least find another joke? It’s bad enough already that you refer to your sermons as ‘Rock Concerts’ — maybe spend some time brainstorming another Rock pun? And do you have to bring it up so often?”

Peter was far too available for comment and spent several hours explaining why he had the best stony-faced expression of all the disciples.

At publishing time, the other Apostles had also had to ask John “The Beloved Disciple” to stop referring to himself in the third-person in every conversation.

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