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SHORES OF GALILEE — After disciples asked the Teacher why He always portrayed them as sheep in parables, Jesus helpfully explained that it’s because sheep are very, very stupid.

“Welp,” said Peter, staring at the ground awkwardly. “We did ask.”

According to the disciples, Jesus went on to offer a very lengthy exposition about just how incredibly dumb sheep are. “After an hour, I started to get the picture that perhaps the Lord sometimes finds us a bit slow,” said the Apostle Philip. “There were a lot of things like ‘Verily I tell you, sheep are so dumb’. There were parables about the stupidity of sheep just to explain other parables about sheep being stupid. Frankly, it got a bit uncomfortable after a while.”

At publishing time, the disciples had decided that maybe they would leave this little tidbit out of their Gospel accounts.

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