Bill Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, And Imagine Dragons: Is This The Worst Birthday Party Of All Time?

When my birthday rolls around (which it does on an annual basis), I celebrate with a holiday I call “Mattsgiving.” It’s Thanksgiving in July, and in my opinion it’s the best possible way to spend your birthday; with family, friends and good food.

What’s the worst way to celebrate your birthday? 

Well, that’s probably subjective, but entertainment executive Casey Wasserman may have a contender for the worst birthday party of all time.

Wasserman — the grandson of Hollywood mogul Lew Wasserman — turned the big 5-0 recently and Page Six had the details of the shindig he threw to celebrate the occasion.

There were estimated to be between 600 and 800 people on hand to celebrate Wasserman’s birthday at Barker Hangar in Santa Monica.

Wow, 600 to 800 people… man, think how many Amazon gift cards that is.

At the party, guests could reportedly take photos with one of Lew Wasserman’s Oscars and a replica of the famed Beverly Hills deli Nate’n Al’s Deli, which was called “Lew’n Casey’s” for the occasion (dude, enough about your grandpa).

On the guest list were just the people you want at your birthday party: Nancy Pelosi and Bill Clinton. That’s not who I’d want to party with, but if you’re big into left-wing politics and you have no real friends, that makes sense.

Some guests saw the whole shebang as garish, probably because it is. I mean, it’s a 50-year-old man throwing a party that even the most Violet Beauregarde-esque teen on My Super Sweet 16 would consider to be a bit much.

But it wasn’t the garishness or the Pelosi and Clinton-ness that made this perhaps the worst party of all time.

This party took a real detour into Dudsville with the entertainment. Which happened to be Imagine Dragons.

Imagine Dragons performing in Las Vegas last year. I don’t know what song they were playing, but it probably sucked. (Photo by Sam Morris/Getty Images)

Why Ruin A Birthday Part By Hiring Imagine Dragons?

Sorry if you’re a fan, but if that’s the case, then it’s time someone played it straight with you: Imagine Dragons is absolute hot, nuclear garbage. The band is terrible.

If you like Imagine Dragons, maybe try imagining a better band.

I mean, if some rich kid got their parents to get Imagine Dragons to play their birthday party or something, I would chalk it up to being young and dumb. But no 50-year-old man should be so into Imagine Dragons that he hires them for his birthday.

Again it’s subjective, but you need to think about your guests. Everyone with an ounce of taste hates Imagine Dragons. 

You’d be better off getting some dude who plays “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” with armpit farts. That way at least a small portion of your guests would find it amusing and get a couple of chuckles out of it.

Imagine Dragons? No one finds that amusing.

If there’s a bright side to this story, it’s that Bill Clinton and Nancy Pelosi had to endure a night of Imagine Dragons.

Now that’s amusing.

Anyway, happy birthday, Casey; I hope for your guests’ sake you book a better band for your 60th.