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The New York Times published a 4th of July op-ed that has to be seen to be believed.

Independence Day is this Thursday, and it’s going to be an epic time. Millions of Americans will start celebrating Thursday and go right through the weekend.

That’s what patriots do when it comes time to celebrate destroying the British and becoming the greatest country the world has ever seen. Lots of beer, fireworks, food, maybe hit the gun range or catch a baseball game.

The New York Times op-ed about fireworks is comically stupid.

Well, an op-ed from The New York Times titled “Enough With the Fireworks Already” from Margaret Renkl spits on everything proud Americans love about the 4th of July. It’s anti-fireworks, anti-gun, anti-freedom and much more.

Renkl uses the fact dogs don’t like fireworks – which is true for many dogs – as an excuse to bash some of the best parts of America. However, the greatest part by far is when she tried to claim eating burgers and driving trucks don’t make you American.

Newsflash: It most certainly does, but let’s not let that stop Renkl from cooking.

She, in part, the following:

“The conflation of selfishness with patriotism is the thing I have the hardest time accepting about our political era. Maybe we have the right to eat a hamburger or drive the biggest truck on the market or fire off bottle rockets deep into the night on the Fourth of July, but it doesn’t make us good Americans to do such things. How can it possibly be “American” to look at the damage that fireworks can cause — to the atmosphere, to forests, to wildlife, to our own beloved pets, to ourselves — and shrug?

The truly American thing would be to join together to make every change we can reasonably make to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, human and other-than-human alike. The truly American thing would be to plant a victory garden large enough to encompass the entire natural world.”

This literally reads like someone from North Korea’s propaganda department wrote. Who is editing over at The NYT and how did this get through?

We should “plant a victory garden large enough to encompass the entire natural world”? What the hell does that even mean?

Listen up, folks, because I don’t want to be misunderstood. Owning guns, blowing stuff up and driving a big truck is as American as it gets. That’s what the heartland is all about. This is America. Not socialist France. We’re built differently in the USA, and we won’t apologize for it. If you want to drive a Prius, then go live in Europe and enjoy their bad food, garbage alcohol and watch soccer.

Patriots here in America will continue to crush crispy light beer, go ballistic for our favorite sports teams and light as many fireworks as we want on the 4th of July.

Now, I will extend a bit of an olive branch. I do have a dog that doesn’t like fireworks. He gets pretty nervous, but we shouldn’t change society and traditions because of a dog. I had two other dogs growing up that were gun trained and couldn’t care less about fireworks. If anything, they thought it was about time to give some pheasants the good news.

So, yes, I understand dogs don’t like fireworks, and as the most pro-dog person you’ll ever meet, I still don’t care.

I was already going to probably eat several burgers and drink more beer than I’ll publicly admit on the 4th, and I’m definitely doing that now just because I know it will trigger the outrage mob. I can’t wait for them to see me in my “Red Dawn” shirt. Will be the cherry on top. Never apologize for partying in honor of America.