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For Costco, selling 40-pound bags of dog food, 6-gallon tubs of peanut butter and more shampoo than anyone could possibly use in a lifetime just isn’t enough.

They’re now venturing into the world of real estate development, planning to build a massive store in South Los Angeles with an 800-unit apartment complex right on top of it. 184 of these 800 units will be set aside for affordable housing.

Costco shoppers can now live most of their lives in a Costco store.

Costco revealed this ambitious retail-housing Frankenstein’s monster of a project, which will be located in Baldwin Village, in a press release last year, and have teamed up with developers Thrive Living and the architects over at AO.

A representative from Thrive Living casually mentioned to the New York Post that they’re still waiting on permits, and honestly, who knows when this construction will kick off. Because if there’s one thing we know about building anything in California unless your last name is Pelosi or Newsom … it’s not happening.

Housing activist Joe Cohen, who might just be the only sane person in this scenario, told SFGATE that the planning system is a “Rube Goldberg machine.” That’s a fancy term for a convoluted, overly complicated piece of engineering that makes you want to cry into your oversized Costco muffin.

This mixed-use complex is set to rise on a vacant, five-acre plot that used to be a hospital, and will also include some nifty amenities, including a gym, multi-purpose spaces, gardens, a rooftop pool, and a gigantic parking lot for all those cars that will be spilling into the area.

Cohen described the design as “a bunch of small units along these long hallways, with a massive recreation center as an amenity space.”

Like … a jail?

Adding to the circus, Cohen speculated on X that Costco probably tacked on the apartment building idea to dodge Los Angeles’ famously painful site review process, with state law requiring that at least two-thirds of the 185,000-square-foot plan must be housing for Costco to get a fast pass through the bureaucratic nightmare that is the LA permitting system.

(Because if you’re in LA and you’re building more than a crack den, you either play the game or spend the next decade buried under paperwork and despair.)

But wait, there’s more! The standout feature isn’t just the whole “prison chic” vibe but also the building method. They’re using pre-manufactured apartment modules that can be offloaded from trucks and snapped together like Lego blocks.

Efficient? Yes.

Exciting? Eh, let’s not get carried away.

Jordan Brill from Thrive Living chimed in with a statement, saying, “Mayor Bass has declared a housing emergency in Los Angeles, and we’re answering the call.” He also mentioned that their company is laser-focused on tackling the housing affordability crisis while attracting retailers who are in it for the long haul.

Living within walking distance of $1.50 hotdogs is awfully tempting …

Follow Ian on Substack or X (@ighaworth).

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