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Who would have guessed that cocaine is not vegan?

Festival goers at Glastonbury Festival in England spent the night enjoying vegan cocaine or “woke-caine”, if you will, as well as balloons filled with laughing gas.

According to The Daily Mail:

Glastonbury kicked off with a bang last night – with revellers seen enjoying laughing gas balloons and buying ‘vegan alternatives to cocaine’ at the start of a five-day music extravaganza.

Around 200,000 festival-goers are descending on Worthy Farm to enjoy a weekend at the iconic music event being headlined by Dua Lipa, Coldplay and country legend Shania Twain.

Last night, festivalgoers were pictured inhaling ‘laughing gas’ from balloons on the grass. Elsewhere, a small mobile cart saw entrepreneurs flogging little bottles claiming to contain the ‘vegan alternative to cocaine’.

Unclear if Just Stop Oil will be making an appearance to disrupt the event and call for the global end of fossil fuels, as they demand world leaders enable a carbon tax. OR if they are already at the event enjoying their woke-caine and laughing gas.

The brand, Karmaceuticals, advertises its product on Facebook as a ‘tool’ to ‘help you be your best authentic self and boss Glasto weekend like an absolute legend’. The substance is not actually cocaine and is legal to sell. It claims to prevent ‘over-consumption, over-stimulation and burn-out’ by sustaining high octane levels.

On the website, the festival claims it is dedicated to saving the world from climate change. But does anyone have any faith that the result will be anything but one giant litter fest? Just look at what happened last year.

And on top of that, some dubbed this year’s lineup as the “worst of all time.”

LOL to calling out Coldplay for vowing not to perform anymore to save the planet. Yet, they are performing for the third year in the world. LOL.

You could not pay me to attend this woke-fest.



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