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You first, Ah-nold.

The superstar who once made Hummers cool is now a jacked Greta Thunberg.

Arnold Schwarzenegger demanded we take action during a speech at the Austrian World Summit earlier this week.

“All we care about is action. Talking alone won’t save us — but action will. We all share the same vision of a pollution-free world.”

The “Terminator” star took plenty of action in his salad days. As California governor, he used a private jet for his commute. His Hummer “fleet” was legendary for a spell.

Now? He works in an industry that tries to be green but very often can’t seal that particular deal. And his climate change screeds never target China for its coal plants or environmental atrocities.

Does the Austrian Oak still fly private jets? Does he use his clout to shame fellow eco-hypocrites like Leonardo DiCaprio?

No? In that case, “Hasta la vista, baby.”

Sean Penn mourns past gay payday

Ask a conservative whether there are any uber-liberal stars they refuse to watch, and one name surfaces again and again: Sean Penn.

No one denies the actor’s skill set. His mantel sports two Academy Awards, and he can pivot from Jeff Spicoli to a “Dead Man Walking.” But he’s been an in-your-face activist for so long that it’s left many moviegoers disgusted. And his word-salad op-eds would make Kamala Harris cringe.

Yet the surly celeb took a stand for creative expression this week that we can all cheer. Penn looked back at “Milk,” the 2008 biopic that snagged him his second Oscar, with some regret. He mused that a dyed-in-the-wool hetero like him could never land the role of the gay rights icon today. Them’s the new woke rules, and he is not a fan, according to his chat with the New York Times.

“No. It could not happen in a time like this. … It’s a time of tremendous overreach. It’s a timid and artless policy toward the human imagination.”

He’s … right.

Penn is one of a growing number of stars who are speaking out, albeit cautiously, against woke overreach. Dame Judi Dench recently blasted theatrical trigger warnings, for example.

All Penn needs now are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and artistic freedom.

‘Acolyte’ star drops dumb ‘Discourse’ ditty

Osho is no Princess Leia.

The heroine of Disney’s “The Acolyte” is feeling the heat from “Star Wars” nation. The new show is getting pummeled on YouTube and elsewhere for its lesbian witches, anemic storytelling, and anti-canon plot points.

Now, the woman who plays Osha is fighting back with really awful rap lyrics. Amandla Stenberg just released a new song, “Discourse,” targeting her critics.

Need some sample lyrics?

“We so bored, don’t f*** with your discourse.”

“They spinning ‘woke,’ bastardize it and appropriate it. Last I recall, woke was something we created, speak truth to power, keep an eye out for you silly racists.”

“I’m sick and f***ing tired of suppressing my rage. 400 years of taking their bull**** to compartmentalize like my ancestors had to be encaged.”

Stand back, Bob Dylan. There’s a new songsmith in town.

Costner picks up the check

Just how big is Kevin Costner’s wallet these days?

The “Yellowstone” legend is taking the biggest risk of his career this weekend. And this is the guy who once dropped “Waterworld” on an unsuspecting public.

Costner’s “Horizon,” the first of a planned four-part movie series, tackles the Western genre head-on. It’s tracking for a modest theatrical bow, and the star is scrambling to pay for parts three and four. The second film in the saga is already shot and debuts August 16.

It’s an old Hollywood saw that you never use your own money on a film, but the “Bull Durham” alum did it anyway. But how much did he fork over? it depends what day you ask him.

First, Costner said he coughed up $20 million to make “Horizon” happen. Then, he revealed that the true number was $38 million.

Now, with the film days away from release, he says the actual figure stands at $50 million.

If you have that kind of money to throw around, maybe “Horizon” isn’t as risky as we thought.