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Ladies and gentlemen, I was told we needed to give a trillion infinity dollars to politicians right now or else the planet would burn, which is why this is … a bit confusing:

Yes, this is a real Washington Post story published on June 25, 2024.

Let’s go through a few key passages to unpack the levels of confusion here.

“It has been widely accepted” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.

If you select your chosen scientists to tell you what your itching ears want to hear, then yes, sure. CNN has a revolving door of “experts” that are willing to make money by selling fear at any moment of the day.

Already, WaPo has framed this as a disaster beyond the point of no return. We have passed the event horizon of the black hole and we are doomed for hotter, but also colder, weather.

The particles from pollution create cloud cover, which mitigates warming, but only temporarily, the “experts” argue. And fair enough – clouds do decrease surface temperature levels.

This last part is true. China has rapidly addressed its smog problem, but they are still pumping out oodles of more pollution and emissions than anyone else.

China doesn’t get scolded more heavily here because Marxists don’t like dunking on other Marxists.

Back to the story:

“Deep uncertainty” … “Possibility”

Always pay attention to the words the “experts” use.

Should I mention that Zeke Hausfather is in a “polyamorous parenting” relationship?

I’m sure his grip on reality isn’t clouded in other ways!

After quoting the “expert” who lets other men sleep with his wife and spews climate doom like a man who just ate leftovers from Taco Bell, WaPo tells us that we need to face the consequences, but that maybe toying with clouds will help us.

“Safe.”

The actual solution?

Kill the farting cows.

Weirdos like me, who like to note that Earth has had long periods with significantly higher carbon dioxide levels in the air, think that maybe we should celebrate the greening of this extremely resilient planet and use this moment in development to springboard ourselves into 1) nuclear power and 2) new tech that allows us to make sure the right kind of greening is occurring.

Instead, we have climate writers opining year after year about the magic number that will definitely make the ice caps melt and the coral reefs die. They sound like worn-out prophets banging on the same gong of doom.

Meanwhile, polar bear numbers are surging, the ice caps are still there, more leftwing elites have oceanside mansions than ever before, and the coral reefs are hanging in there just fine.

As a saltwater reef tank hobbyist, I’ve seen how ecosystems can go out of wack. You don’t want ugly, toxic algae blooms. But we humans tend to be pretty good gardeners. We find innovative solutions no matter what the weather patterns are. So instead of telling everyone they need to freeze and starve in the dark with no natural gas or beef, we should take a realistic look at climate data without the narrative…

…and then use as much energy as it takes to make everyone as rich as possible as fast a possible, with a focus on having lots and lots of babies who can maintain our infrastructure and develop new ideas.

That sounds a lot better than extinctionism and “cooling is warming” headlines over at WaPo!

I’ll leave ya with this gem:

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