Welcome to your modern consumerism dystopia, brought to you by Planters and

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Welcome to the end of civilization.

And what better way to enjoy societal downfall than with beer and peanuts?

When I first saw this headline, I thought the gal was marrying Mr. Peanut. But that was ridiculous. The bride is simply being given away by Mr. (and presumably Mrs.) Peanut.

What we have here is your chance to get married for FREE, venue and all, thanks to Planters and Miller High Life. Of course, you have to get married in a dive bar (yes, that’s part of the promotion) – and yes, the bride is to be walked down the aisle by a man in a Mr. Peanut costume – but otherwise it’s totally free!

The brands are soliciting stories from couples who met or grew their love in dive bars and will reward one couple with a wedding ceremony at the dive bar of their choice that will include a ride to the bar in the iconic Planters Nutmobile, a Miller High Life ‘Champagne of Beers’ tower and toast, a buffet of dive bar staples (think wings, sliders, and fries), Miller High Life and Planters co-branded wedding accessories and a Mr. Peanut escort down the aisle. The ceremony will conclude with a peanut-flavored wedding cake with a custom cake topper featuring the brands’ Girl in the Moon and Mr. Peanut characters.

‘For more than a century, both brands have been the cornerstone of good times spent together, whether it’s at a dive bar, ballpark or backyard,’ Cirone said. ‘This year, we are honoring where The Champagne of Beers first met peanuts and celebrating other Matches Made in the High Life.’

Yes, Planters and Miller are looking for people who met their betrothed in [checks notes] a dive bar, then they’ll chose the couple with the most [checks notes again] romantic dive bar story for a completely corporatized wedding ceremony in said dive bar.