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SALINA, KS — The root of one resident’s deep-seated psychosis was finally discovered, as a local man was able to trace 90% of the mental health issues in his life to watching the boat tunnel scene in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory when he was a kid.

Chris Tanner’s life had been a rollercoaster of mental health episodes, with him having multiple stints in counseling, leading him to track down the horrifying gondola trip the children and their relatives took in the beloved 1971 film.

“It all goes back to that tunnel,” Tanner said with a noticeable tremble in his voice. “You’ve seen it, right? The kids have gone from the euphoria of the Chocolate Room, where everything was edible, to enduring the traumatic experience of watching Augustus Gloop nearly drown in the chocolate river before being sucked up into the factory’s plumbing system toward the Fudge Room boiler. It’s after this frightening ordeal that Wonka tells them all to climb aboard a boat. Then.. then the boat goes into a tunnel, and… and… the purest nightmare fuel ever filmed is played out before the viewer. You see things… horrible things. Then Wonka starts singing the creepiest song you’ll ever hear. And Wonka starts screaming. Sweet Moses, the screaming. I can still hear it in my nightmares.”

At publishing time, Tanner was reportedly back in heavy counseling, with his psychologist delving deeper into the terrible mental wounds he suffered during repeated viewings of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory over the course of his life.

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