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We interrupt your regularly scheduled coverage of the lawfare waged against Donald Trump and “family” “friendly” drag shows to bring you another installment in our favorite genre of content: Waffle House Beatdowns! It’s been a minute since we’ve seen a good video of it going down after hours at Waffle House.

It’s girl-on-girl action, thought the true MVP in this video diary? This dude.

My man had the instinct to remember to do it for the content. He had the sense it was about to go down and went right to his smartphone while doing his best Jim Ross impersonation and providing play by play. And when it was all done, he went to get his money back since he never got his food. The effort and the footage make this a 10/10 video.

The rub with videos like this is you wind up missing the context of what started the fight. The first thing we see is a Waffle House employee throwing a plate at this lady.

I’m guessing she started it. When Waffle House employees get their blackbelt in the Whoop That Ass martial arts, the first thing they are taught is never to start a fight. Only finish the fight. This woman must not be on X-Twitter, because anyone who has ever seen a video like this shows you should never step to anyone behind the counter at a Waffle House. That was her first mistake.

The second mistake … okay, I’m not off the culture. Apologies if I am speaking out of turn here. But my understanding has always been that when you are in an argument with a Black woman and she takes off her hat or her earrings, you’re in trouble, and you should consider fleeing the scene before you start to regret the life choices that put you in this situation.

This woman did not flee. As a result, she had her face used to mop up the table.

We rank this video number three in our favorite Waffle House shenanigans. Honorable mention goes to Mr. Sassy Pants and Fists of Furry.

Our number two favorite is the infamous Chair Ninja video.

And number one is “Your Titty is Out.” Because, well…

Thank you for never changing, Waffle House. On behalf of a grateful internets, we salute you.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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