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TEHRAN, IRAN — In a touching, romantic statement on X (formerly Twitter), the Supreme Leader of Iran Ali Khamenei let American college students know that he appreciates their anti-Semetic protests and support of his regime and that he also has a few open slots in the harem if any of the women might happen to be interested.

“Dear university students in the United States of America, you are standing on the right side of history,” Khamenei wrote in his X post. “Thank you for all the effort you put into hating the Jews. Also, if any of you women over there happen to be into wearing hijabs, having no freedom, and genocidal psychopaths in their 70s, a few slots in the presidential harem have opened up ;)”

“Applicants can apply for a visa through the Iranian government website,” Khamenei wrote in a follow-up post.

While Khamenei’s post has been well-received by college protesters, most of the female college students have decided “swipe left” on the Supreme Leader of Iran, citing the lack of Starbucks in Iran and the fact that they could be executed for showing a bit too much nose.

At publishing time, Khamenei had retracted his offer after all of the students who responded to his offer turned out to be gay men or transgender women.

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