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A Japanese man who has, and I quote, “always had a dream of being a dog,” fulfilled that dream and spent $14,000 to become a border collie. And I know what many of you are thinking. “Brodigan, June is in a few days. We know people like to dress up like dogs.” No, no, no. I’m not talking about someone who dresses up in fetish gear and parades around little children.

I mean, last July, someone paid 14 grand for a lifelike dog costume so he could live among other dogs—Toco, the (sigh) human border collie. Well, it turns out Toco discovered it may have been a waste of money. Living life on all fours was more difficult than he was expecting, according to The Daily Mail.

So our man is considering becoming a different animal. Perhaps one that walks on two legs.

‘Dogs and humans have different bone structures and the way they bend their legs and arms, so it’s very difficult to make movements that look like this.

‘I might realistically be able to become another dog, a panda or a bear, a fox or a cat would also be nice, but they are too small for humans to try.

‘I’d like to fulfill my dream of becoming another animal someday’, the animal lover told Japanese news outlet WanQol.

Video went viral last July of Toco’s first time in public engaging with other dogs. Where — Toco — walked on all fours, rolled around, and sniffed other dogs’ butts. It is unclear if the other dogs knew Toco was not a real dog or not as they were sniffing each other’s anuses. Real dogs don’t speak people language like Japanese or English. Toco knows how to, but doesn’t… since he wants to be a dog.

A longer video on YouTube explains Toco’s thought process. Please note that the captions in this video are said to have been translated from handwritten notes before Toco went full canine: “I got to fulfill my dream of being a dog and walking outside! Hello, my name is Toco. My dream of being an animal since a little child came true when I became a collie! I’m going to enjoy the doggie life right here in this house!



【着ぐるみ】犬になって外をお散歩してみた！www.youtube.com

We at the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website were hoping to find a pre-transition photo of Toco, but both the man and the dog like to keep their private lives private. “I don’t want my hobbies to be known, especially by the people I work with. They think it’s weird that I want to be a dog. For the same reason why I can’t show my real face. I rarely tell my friends because I am afraid they will think I am weird.”

But you know something? Shout out to Toco’s parents. Or, I guess Toco’s humans. They made Toco wait until he was an adult before he transformed himself into a dog. There are American parents who would have sent Toco to obedience school when he was five years old. And Democrats who would have taken Toco away from his parents if they didn’t. You could get arrested for not using woof/ruff pronouns.

I find myself left with one question. Okay, a LOT of questions. Many I don’t want answers to. But will Toco ever find true love? And if he does… ewwww, gross.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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