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TRENTON, NJ — Multiple witnesses reported today that three wise men who identified themselves as Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar had ended up wildly off-course after mistakenly following an unidentified drone in the night sky that led them to New Jersey.

According to Caspar, the men had intended to peacefully make their way toward Judea, simply following what they believed to be a moving star, and were entirely shocked to find themselves somewhere on the other side of the Atlantic after several weeks of travel.

“We saw a star shining in the East,” Balthazar explained. “We determined that it was a sign of the birth of a great king. So we started following it to try to find the Christ child. I said that we should just sit and wait and see if it stopped when we got to Bethlehem, but no — the other two insisted on following it. I pointed out that it had flashing red and green lights, which stars don’t usually have. That didn’t make a difference. They never listen to me.”

Caspar and Melchior confirmed that following the star was an honest mistake that could have happened to anyone.

“It just looked like a star,” Melchior said. “We see crazy stuff in the night sky all the time. How were we supposed to know it was going to lead us to New Jersey?”

At publishing time, the three wise men chose to return home by a different path than how they came because they wanted to see a Buc-ee’s for themselves.

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