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Many Federal employees are running pretty scared right now with the knowledge that Elon Musk’s and Vivek Ramaswamy’s Department of Government Efficiency is going to be taking a long, hard look at what they do every day to justify spending taxpayer money like sailors on shore leave.
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While some departments are much bigger and much more wasteful than others, Musk and Ramaswamy have given every indication that no department or agency will be immune to or outside the scope of their investigation and analysis.
Yes, that means even you, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
Yesterday, CBS News reported that the USFWS has declared giraffes — yes, giraffes — an endangered species.
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has proposed new protections for giraffes, saying their populations are threatened by poaching, habitat loss and climate change.
https://t.co/qcSyP1KrNU— CBS News (@CBSNews) November 21, 2024
Now, don’t get us wrong. We’ve got nothing against giraffes. They are beautiful, elegant animals and we would hate for them to go away.
But why is the USFWS declaring them endangered when there are no giraffes in America outside of zoos?
Are … are the zookeepers poaching them? Because that would be very bad.
Giraffe populations are in trouble — and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service on Wednesday proposed listing three subspecies of the tall animals as endangered and two species as threatened under the Endangered Species Act.
Their populations have been declining because of poaching, habitat loss and climate change, officials said. While giraffes are not native to the U.S., listing them under the act would still provide protections to giraffe populations.
The Endangered Species Act, enacted in 1973, establishes protections for fish, wildlife and plants that are listed as threatened or endangered. Under the act, federal agencies are required to ensure their actions are unlikely to jeopardize listed species, according to the agency.
‘Federal protections for giraffes will help protect a vulnerable species, foster biodiversity, support ecosystem health, combat wildlife trafficking, and promote sustainable economic practices,’ USFWS Director Martha Williams said in a press release. ‘This action supports giraffe conservation while ensuring the United States does not contribute further to their decline.’
Hey, USFWS Director Martha Williams. you’d better get ready for Musk and Ramaswamy to ask, ‘What would you say you DO here?’
https://t.co/42AUXDlalA pic.twitter.com/uNuY7fa9Cq
— HampNC (@nataliesch93717) November 21, 2024
Because giraffe poaching is a huge problem in the United States.
I used to see herds of giraffes while hunting in Tennessee. Not anymore. Sad times. https://t.co/YVQLppRmuH
— The Dank Knight 🦇 (@capeandcowell) November 21, 2024
Sigh … we used to be a proper country. With our vast, roaming herds of giraffes.
It’s about time! I snapped this photo during my last trip to Animal Kingdom. So, so scary! pic.twitter.com/NyOvfiKYpG
— BostonWriter (@bostonwriter) November 21, 2024
I just stopped some hunters in my backyard trying to take down a family of giraffes. Sometimes I wish I didn’t live in the Midwest so I would have to deal with this nonsense.
— TBOF (@Birdmeister17) November 21, 2024
Giraffe poachers are running rampant in downtown Chicago and St. Louis just looking for their next targets. Maybe that’s why those cities have so many shootings every weekend. The gangs are just trying to bag their next giraffe trophy.
Oh, but it gets even better. While USFWS lists poaching as the primary cause of giraffes’ declining population, they are also blaming it on … wait for it … climate change.
Because, of course, they are.
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That’s the final straw.
American Giraffes are dying off because of climate change.
Does ANYONE care what the news says anymore? (No) https://t.co/hLi2a8cYZe
— The Real Soup (@notthefakesoup) November 21, 2024
The legacy media is dead, this is true, but in this instance, we’re more inclined to blame useless government bureaucrats who have nothing of value to contribute.
First thing, THERE IS NO CLIMATE CHANGE. pic.twitter.com/QxIjwJP3S2
— Jay Gaudinier (@gaudinier_jay) November 21, 2024
Well, certainly the climate changes. It does that all the time. But it’s not doing it in a way the left believes it is. And it’s certainly not killing off the giraffes.
Number of giraffes killed by climate change: 0.
— Unapologetic Boomer Nostalgia (@bbbaldie) November 21, 2024
Maybe one of the poachers is named ‘Climate Change’? Seems like a weird name for a hunter, but we’re not ruling it out.
And what if we’re misjudging the intentions of these long-necked ‘alleged’ vegetarians?
Us or them pic.twitter.com/NGLu8PRXnW
— Clandesteyn (@clandesteyn) November 21, 2024
LOL. It’s all a part of the great giraffe conspiracy to overthrow humanity.
That seems a little far-fetched though. Most people were very concerned about the plight of the American giraffe.
About time. These guys were wandering through my yard and I was worried about their safety! pic.twitter.com/gKdZ6lzIeT
— The Blind Lemming™️ (@poorlemming) November 21, 2024
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Oh thank heavens, I miss the days I could look out over my backyard and see the giraffes roaming unfettered
— Kara Ward (@KaraWar96362729) November 22, 2024
I mean you’re forgetting the vast numbers of giraffes killed by white supremacist drivers on the roads. What about that?
— LOST IN SPACE (@JayBradz) November 21, 2024
Ah, we forgot. It’s always those darned white supremacists and their gas-guzzling death machines.
At times our Fed Government looks and acts like idiots.
— Lil’ X (@localsdguy1) November 21, 2024
At times?
Sadly its too late for the #NYC Giraffe. We lost our last one in the 1970s riots.
And I heard Ohio recently lost theirs to the Hungry hatians.
Our government is always a step behind to save such a beutiful and gentle creature
— Samantha (@SamanthaBXgirl) November 21, 2024
Say, maybe we just need to give the USFWS even more of our hard-earned dollars so they can act more quickly.
Or, on the other hand …
Sounds like several high ranking members of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service need to be fired for wasting taxpayers money
— THEY ALL KNEW!! (@ccochrane64) November 21, 2024
Clean up in Aisle Bullsh*t, @DOGE
— DriveBy Geek (@DriveByGeek) November 21, 2024
@DOGE here’s another organization that can get shut down.
Giraffes in the USA? 🤣🤣 Only zoos
— Sir Farticus 🚶💨 (@Sir_Farticus) November 21, 2024
Look at it this way, USFWS officials. If DOGE eliminates your jobs, you are free to move to countries where you actually can help protect giraffes.
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Just watch out for that climate change. It’s a killer.