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It’s Hump Day, Rep. Nancy Mace is taking on (woke) water right now in congress, and Jaguar has gone progressive. 

I mean, I don’t even know where to begin. What a loaded day. Good thing both kids – by the grace of God – slept IN today. 

You remember the newborn stage when you get that one magical day when they sleep past 8? It’s like winning the lotto. You’re just euphoric the rest of the day. A small, gentle reminder of what a peaceful morning used to feel like. 

Combine that with our first cold front of the season barreling towards Florida starting tomorrow, and I’m ready to run through a million brick walls today. Let’s first fire up the heat for the first time since March, and THEN get ready to ROLL. 

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we go to war for Nancy Mace, and then share a bottle of Pinot as we drink away all the liberal tears. What a moment. 

What else? I’ve got Jaguar pumping out an insane new ad, McDonald’s trying to make us all fat before RFK Jr. lays down the hammer, Brian Kelly’s daughter losing her mind in Gainesville last weekend and the newest TikTok trend from unhinged liberals. 

These people are truly the best. God, what a run we’re on as a country. The best. 

OK, grab you a McRib on the way home from work and settle in for a Humpy ‘Cap!

The Libs are pushing back

That’s right – it’s just about that time of year again: McRib SZN! The best. Love a good McRib. It doesn’t get much more American than stuffing our fat faces with a fast-food sandwich made entirely of things nobody can pronounce. 

But we don’t care, because it’s that good. Sort of like a hot dog. You don’t ask, you just eat. And for those who really wanna go the extra mile this holiday season, do I have a deal for YOU:

Holy cow. RFK just passed out somewhere. I can feel it from here. A whole jug of McRib sauce?! What a deal! And hey! Only $20 for a half-gallon. Not bad. Trump’s economy is already coming back and it only took two weeks!

PS: check out the website. It’s amazing: https://wholelottamcribsauce.com/

Now that we’re all on board with the McRib returning, let’s check in on the Libs to see how they’re handling the months leading up to RFK throwing all of our fat, unhealthy asses on a giant treadmill:

The Libs are pushing back, Pt. 2!

There ya go! That’ll teach us! Guzzle that seed oil. Guzzle it ALL. Let’s see how that works out for you. 

I mean, these people are lunatics. Just deranged. Completely removed from reality. Trump has broken them twice now, but 2016 looks like a cakewalk compared to the #content we’re getting out of them this time around.  

The Grateful Dead hat told me everything I needed to know before even turning the volume up. I will say, though, the ending was perfect. That made me laugh. Credit where it’s due. 

Don’t be a p—y!

OK, moving on … to more meltdowns! Have you heard about the week Nightcaps legend Nancy Mace has had so far? She wants congress to stop allowing fake men and fake women into the bathrooms, and even introduced legislation to get the ball rolling. 

In response, this lunatic posted this little number on his/her/they/them/its social media account:

You see what the transgender movement has done to sane people in this country? It’s turned them into absolute psychopaths. It’s a real problem and the manifesto is allegedly out there to prove it. If you know, you know. 

Anyway, these are the people we’re dealing with. Choose your fighters. 

We here at Nightcaps choose Nancy Damn Mace, and we are ready, willing and able to fight like hell to protect her:

Jaguar goes insane, Grace Kelly didn’t enjoy my state & I’m with Joey (both of em!)

Drink up, Nancy! This is Nightcaps, after all. God, I love this woman. She’s been a mainstay in this class for about two months now, and I cannot think of a more deserving student to have her own seat at the front of the room. 

She is welcome in this class, and in my state, whenever the hell she wants. Drinks on me. 

PS: red wine girl? Again, my kinda lady. Classy, but likes to have fun. Red wine is my kryptonite. The First Lady banned me from it years back. That’s another story, though. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this Hump Day evening. First up? Speaking of my state … let’s see how Brian Kelly’s daughter enjoyed her weekend in The Swamp:

Hey, Grace … welcome to the SEC. Welcome to Gator Country. If you ain’t with us, you’re against us. We’ve sucked for years now, so everyone’s a little on edge down here. Your daddy got us steered back in the right direction, though! Thank you. 

See you next time!

Next? Whoever made this decision for car company Jaguar should immediately be investigated by Elon and Vivek, because it’s a CHOICE:

I mean, they just won’t ever learn, will they? Taking an iconic brand and turning it into that garbage is so disgusting. 

My grandpa, who is 92!!!, was a HUGE car guy for all his life until we had to take the keys from him a few years back. That ad would kill him if I showed it to him. Seriously, it would kill him. What a bunch of virtue-signaling IDIOTS. 

KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!

Honestly, that ad would probably kill him, too, but for very different reasons. Better way to go, though. 

Next up? Joseph Galloway is taking some HEAT for this comment last night on the CFB ranking show, but you know what? I think I’m with him:

Look, obviously it’s a coward’s way out, but it also doesn’t mean it ain’t … sort of smart? He’s right about FSU, by the way. The committee didn’t put them in because they lost their QB and looked like an FCS program the rest of the season despite the record. 

Not saying I’d do it, but also not saying it’s the dumbest take in the world like people are saying. 

I mean … they only drop 3% with a loss? Come on! Joey Galloway is an innovator! This is called thinking outside the box. 

Cry more, Greg! 

Speaking of famous Joeys … let’s check in with John Stamos and Dave Coulier on the way out:

Nelly Korda takes us home

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Nellie! 

I blogged about it this morning, so check it out here when you’re staring at your phone later between Hulu ads. In the meantime, here’s the short of it …

Uncle Joey was recently diagnosed with cancer, which is super sad. I don’t wanna talk about it right now, so we’ll skip to the next scene. 

John Stamos – AKA Uncle Jesse – showed … some … solidarity with him yesterday by shaving his head. And by that, I mean he wore a bald cap because he made a business decision and didn’t actually want to shave what I deem to be the best hair in Hollywood. 

And you know what? I’m 100% with Stamos on this one. He’s playing the long game. No SHOT I’m risking shaving my hair at 61 if it looks like this:

Yeah, no chance. You don’t tempt fate like that. Smart move from Stamos, even if the wokes on the internet are outraged by it. Whatever. Kick rocks, losers. 

Whew. What a class! A lot going on today. Let’s wind down with more Nelly Korda-SI swimsuit content and maybe pour a glass of Pinot when we’re done. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots). 

You with Stamos? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.