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SACRAMENTO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom has adopted a plan set forth by the California Air Resources Board to phase out all gas-powered and EV automobiles and replace them with Little Tikes Cozy Coupes no later than 2035.

“California now has a groundbreaking, world-leading plan to achieve 100 percent zero-energy vehicle sales,” Newsom said in a statement. “By the year 2035, every new car sold in California will be a Little Tikes Cozy Coup.”

Government vehicles are exempt from the order.

While the Little Tikes Cozy Coup was already available for purchase in several exciting models, the line of vehicles was expected to be significantly expanded in the next decade. In addition to the standard model, drivers can expect to see new models joining already existing favorites like the Princess, Cozy Truck, and T-Rex. All options come with a standard vehicle warranty and the assurance that you are saving the environment.

Opponents of the executive order argued that this would cause California’s economy to collapse due to the infeasibility of commuting and the inability to transport goods via freight.

“We are all going to die,” California State Senator Scott Wilk said succinctly.

But Gavin Newsom said naysayers just hate the environment. “Think of all the good this will do,” he said, elaborating on the plan during a press conference. “You have to push it along with your feet, so you’re going to get in amazing shape. And say goodbye to fatal car accidents. You can’t push these things more than four miles per hour, tops.”

At publishing time, plastic manufacturing more than quadrupled to keep up with the demand for Little Tikes Cozy Coups, leading to severe adverse environmental impact.

Visit California, and get a little glimpse into the future of any socialist nation!


See why California is so amazing!