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BERLIN, GERMANY — Archeologists focused on the historical period of the Second World War have finally found Hitler’s personal Hamas headscarf.

“We knew from historical photos that Hitler had his own keffiyeh. We just could not find it — until today,” said Helmut Kraus, chief historian at The National Center for Nazi Relic Preservation. “When he wore this scarf it symbolized solidarity with the Palestinians against the Jews, so that means he supported Palestine even before Israel was made a state in 1947 — very progressive for his time!”

“The black-and-white keffiyeh is the traditional scarf worn in many parts of the Middle East, serving as a symbol of resistance and sense of pan-Arab identity — or killing all the Jews,” continued Helmut. “Potayto, potahto!”

Historians have long held that Hitler was a racist fascist dictator and total loser. However some experts today argue for resurrecting Hitler’s image as a progressive for his time who pioneered a final solution for the Jewish problem. This headscarf find only further solidifies how progressive Hitler was.

“Younger generations are finally coming around on the Fuhrer!” said Helmut with a grin.

At publishing time, The National Center for Nazi Relic Preservation released a statement praising the Gaza Solidarity Encampment at Columbia University for wearing their keffiyehs, just like Hitler would have done.


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