You may think it’s funny that President Biden carries around a cheat card that tells him exactly what to do and when to do it. As it turns out, this is a common technique used by several presidents throughout our nation’s great history. We bet you feel silly now, don’t you?
Here are a few examples of presidential cheat cards through the years:
- Thomas Jefferson: YOU do not have sexual relations with THAT slave.
- William Henry Harrison: YOU wear YOUR overcoat or YOU die.
- Millard Fillmore: Nobody remembers who YOU are.
- Abraham Lincoln: YOU don’t forget to look behind YOURSELF at the theater.
- William Howard Taft: YOU are too fat for YOUR bathtub. (Historian’s Note: Taft was notorious for not sticking to the cheat card.)
- FDR: YOU roll into YOUR seat.
- Richard Nixon: YOU are NOT a CROOK.
- Gerald Ford: YOU pardon NIXON. (Historian’s Note: Nixon added this to the bottom of Ford’s cheat sheet in scribbled pencil.)
- George Bush, Sr.: YOU ask THEM to read YOUR lips.
- Bill Clinton: YOU don’t have sexual relations with THAT woman.
- George W. Bush: YOU start an unjustified war for YOUR dad.
- Barack Obama: YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
- Donald J. Trump: YOU grab the steering wheel of YOUR limo from YOUR secret service agent to save the election YOU won.
- Hillary Clinton: YOU aren’t PRESIDENT.
You see? Many of our favorite presidents were secretly controlled by a staff of aides and handlers! Give Biden a break! Come on, man!
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He’s doing his best to keep his chin up.