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NOTRE DAME, IN—Biblical scholar Dr. Edward Gaddville has put forward an exciting new theory that Jesus slept through a storm while on a fishing boat with His disciples because He was using a MyPillow, which was the most comfortable pillow He’d ever owned. The idea has caught on and is now the majority view of theologians worldwide.

“The Mark 4 narrative of this beloved Bible story is troubling for skeptics who can’t imagine anyone sleeping through a raging storm while on a small fishing vessel,” said Dr. Gaddville. “To answer this apparent difficulty, it’s necessary to understand that Jesus would have been able to obtain a MyPillow via miraculous time travel. It’s the most comfortable pillow in the world and therefore a prime candidate to help someone sleep through a storm.”

Some conservative scholars have disagreed with Dr. Gaddville’s theory, suggesting that the Bible in no way implies that Jesus has ever traveled through time. They argue it even goes out of its way to claim the opposite.

“According to scripture, Jesus claims to have no pillows. He says foxes have holes and birds have nests, but that the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head. Case closed,” argues local preacher Rod Folsom.

Dr. Gaddville has an answer for critics. “Jesus is both fully God and fully man,” explains Dr. Gaddville, “So it’s only logical that He would use the perfect pillow for a perfect night’s sleep, even if it required Him to exercise divine authority to travel through time and buy one from Mike Lindell himself.”

“If you don’t believe Jesus was good enough for a MyPillow then you ain’t Christian.”

At publishing time, Mike Lindell confirmed that someone resembling Jesus did purchase a pillow from him recently, although it may have just been a homeless guy.


NOT SATIRE: Between Big Tech censorship and the public-private partnership, Mike Lindell’s company MyPillow—which is based in Minnesota and employs over 2,500 Americans—has been BANNED from many online retailers and payment sites. WALMART is now added to this mix. Why? Because Mike Lindell isn’t afraid to STAND UP to the Leftist mobs. Help Mike and fight back today using Promo: BEE.

Babylon Bee subscriber Matthew McCue contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!