We support our Publishers and Content Creators. You can view this story on their website by CLICKING HERE.

The world has been trying to rip off Christianity for thousands of years with wacky false idols and soap opera quality greek mythology. Frankly, it’s embarrassing.

Check out these embarrassingly lame secular things that are just knockoffs of their superior Christian versions:

1) Baal: Cheap imitation of God. Can’t even call down fire from the heavens. What a loser!

2) Jurassic Park: Clearly inspired by Ken Ham’s Creation Museum.

2) MAGA: A mere shadow of Christ’s beatitudes.

3) Super Mario Bros: Bible Adventures did it better.

4) An Inconvenient Truth: A soulless copy of Left Behind, but no one survives. What’s the point?

5) Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit: Obvious ripoff of the beloved hymn “Jesus Freak.”

6) Superman: A shoddy combination of Moses, Jesus, and angels.

7) Batman: They’re clearly aping Bibleman here. And the joker is definitely inspired by Joel Osteen. 

8) Tom Cruise: Shorter Kirk Cameron.

9) Wine: Welch’s Grape juice imposter.

10) Metallica: Inferior version of Stryper.

11) Tom Hanks: Poor man’s Kevin Sorbo.

12) TED Talks: A John MacArthur sermon with no meaning or purpose.

13) Jen Hatmaker: Jen Hatmaker from 20 years ago.


Remember, kids. If you want to be cool like a Christian just be a Christian. Don’t be a total secular poser, brah.


To celebrate Pride Month, Mattel has released its first-ever pregnant man doll: Pregnant Ken! You can have all sorts of fun with the clearly MALE Ken doll and his pregnant belly! Available wherever non-gender-specific toys are sold.


Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube