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PLAINS, GA—As citizens and political pundits increasingly compare Biden’s first term to the term of Jimmy Carter, the former president is concerned the comparisons may be tarnishing his legacy. 

“Listen, I know I wasn’t the best president of all time, but come on—I wasn’t as bad as Biden, people!” said Carter from his tiny little chair in his tiny little Jimmy Carter-sized living room. “The economy tanked under my policies, but—I do declare—people were fortunate to not have to pay these insane prices for gas because there was no gas! And I gave that great ‘Malaise Speech!’ I used all the right words and strung them together in the right order! I’d like to see Biden do that!” 

Experts agree that further comparisons to Biden could threaten to destroy Carter’s legacy of the “worst president ever” and make him be remembered instead as the “co-worst president ever.”

After hearing Carter’s comments, Biden issued a statement saying “Listen here, Jimmy-boy! You think you’re better than me? Don’t make me come over there and, and, and wrap this chain around your head, horse-faced pony boy! Flumberdriggit!”

Carter’s concerns rose further after it was announced that the Biden Presidential Library will be built in the basement of the Carter Presidential Library. 

To celebrate Pride Month, Mattel has released its first-ever pregnant man doll: Pregnant Ken! You can have all sorts of fun with the clearly MALE Ken doll and his pregnant belly! Available wherever non-gender-specific toys are sold.

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