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WASHINGTON, D.C.—K-Pop music sensation BTS has been invited to the White House to discuss anti-Asian hate and discrimination. When the artists entered the oval office President Biden welcomed them by pulling out his phone and playing ‘Kung Fu Fighting’.

“Welcome to the White House my fellow Kung Fu fighters!” said the President while holding out his phone and pretending to karate chop the artists. “HOO! HUH! Gotcha there! You’re gonna have to be quicker than that if you wanna block old Joe!”

The BTS members—also known as the Bangtan Boys—shuffled awkwardly and forced a smile as the President of the United States continued to bob his head up and down as he displayed his kung-fu moves.

“HIYAH!” shouted Biden still trying to get the band to respond. “What’s the deal? I thought you people are supposed to love this music? C’mon now show me your moves—how else are you gonna stop people from discriminating against you?”

At publishing time, Biden tweeted out a selfie with the Bangtan Boys that has already been deleted that was captioned “The White House rejects racism against Asians. That’s why I’m proud to stand by and fight back with the Bangkok Boys!”

In the social justice system, words are considered violence. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious attacks are members of an elite squad known as the Microaggression Victims Unit. These are their stories.

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